Holy shit! This guy had his hands and feet handcuffed and was scooting across the interstate and we almost hit him because it was so dark. I hate Louisiana.
I can already tell this is gonna be one of those parties where we sit across the room and text about people.
but i am gonna have to have sex w/ him again to get my earrings back
found a naked boy completely buried under a pile of her clothes and terrified...she says she was "saving him for later"
She gave me head because I gave her my pack of cigarettes...And you said quitting would be hard.
I know. You don't know poor life choice until your sitting on the floor of a community bathroom waiting to vomit at 4 am
Yes. Yes. Double yes. I'll bring the tits. You bring the frosting.
I just had sex over my oven then high fived the guy. It's going to be a good year.
There's a baby duck in my toilet. Fuck you.
I'm watching Russian dudes pole-dance. For research.
He looks like he was the one that always had koolaid stains around his mouth as a kid, he can fuck off.
sexting foreigners is the best. they respond with silly things like "love that tits"
Ran into a tinder match at the bar last night. We spotted each other and started making out without speaking any words to each other. Fuck yea technology!
I mean obviously I like your dick... Jury is still out on you but your dick is good
I'm not snubbing your weed I just had a really important rack of ribs to get home to
Randomize
