look no pants
I told him it tasted like his mom..needless to say we were asked to leave.
omg i finished an entire carton of double double chunk chunk ice cream last night...
what? what exactly is in double double chunk chunk?
self-loathing.
if theres anything i pride myself on, its my ability to look homeless.
When the cops come you probably shouldn't be poking cars with a stick.
I have hit nutritional rock bottom I am spreading peanut butter on to lays potato chips
He sent me a picture; erect penis, cat in hand and no pants on. He got a boob pic for that one.
just saw sorostitutes streaking near the university president's house. thank you tequila day
I just watched my mom get dick on Skype.
That d should have definitely been an s.
So I just stole my deans keys to break into the dining hall to get coco puffs. I shouldn't have gone to this meeting stoned.
I remember saying to him "Fun fact! If you lie this way it's easier to deep throat!" I even judge me.
He said his name was Tony, after last night I will refer to him as Tiny
We walking to the game and some random guy came up to to me and yelled "hey you're the whiskey guy!" And then high fived me then walked away
11:30 and people are pissing in the sink. It's gonna be a good night.
Me and my dad hot boxed a hotel bathroom... That's what I call father son bonding
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