Dude, the girl i fucked last night left wearing my high school musical shirt you bought me. she also left her panties here though.
The one with Zac Efrons face on it? You definitely got the short in of the stick. i'd rather have the shirt
fuck. yeah me too. i don't even think these panties would fit me
did he really ask u insert a warm banna in ur anal?
She posts like 3 statuses a day pleading for pity. Responding positively would be like giving a dog a treat for shitting on the floor.
I asked my mom if I was the drunkest one in the room. With 8 days till I go back to school, I couldn't care less about being shitfaced at a baptism
You couldn't stand up so I took you home, took off your makeup, put you to bed then shaved off your eyebrows. I so nearly won the responsible adult prize.
It's been decided..lingerie is an investment. You get free breakfast and cab rides out of it.
Let's just say he sent me a picture of his dick and I was more impressed with the collection of video games he had in the background...
EVERYONE IS SPEAKING SPANISH. I ONLY KNOW HOLA.
All I could think about while he was going down on me was that his moustache reminded me that I want to try something new with my pubic hair.
On the plus side, I got cel phone video of a major fox news host doing coke.
You know what would make this walk of shame even better? Picking up my cap n gown on the way to my car
Some girl woke me up at 1:30 am looking for weed and the next thing I know I'm in a hot tub with 3 girls, 2 40's, and a blunt.
I just squirted in your honor. It's like pouring one out for the beautiful sex partnership that could have been
Why were u walkin around mc with a toilet bowl lid handcuffed to u and carrying a stuffed Teddy bear last night?
Right. Cuz nothing screams "You made it!" quite like selling your used underwear to strangers you met on the internet.
Randomize
