Wow so 15 missed calls, a vm AND a text saying come downstairs? ...And where is downstairs? Explain.
Oh and I watched laurens last episode on the hills. its been an emotional day
I have no idea who these bands are he's listening to. If his current playlist was a pandora station, however, it would be titled "music for closet cock gobblers"
There's guys at my school running around throwing potatoes shouting "remember the famine." makes me proud to be Irish.
The plus side of allergy season is that after our weekend coke binge my runny nose fits right in.
He went around feeding all the high kids pretzels. He's like their god now
How dare she call you insensitive. Should have told her about the time you let that girl in the wheelchair wearing the sombrero blow you.
Ja rule starts his prison sentence today #3475th reason we should drink tonight
I don't even know. I woke up in the bathtub with no shirt, covered in towels holding what appeared to be vanillia pudding mixed with captain morgan.
I need to go back to work. I've had so much sex since the shutdown started. last night we tried and a little flag came out saying "nothing is left in here try a week later"
I should not be this drunk in a place where a girl is wearing a princess dress
He legit watched "Cops" the entire time he was fingering me.
you were so drunk that when the mouse on your laptop didnt work anymore you decided to just take it into the bathroom and pee on it while laughing like a mad scientist.
Perfect attendance and not being drunk since Sunday. This is a new leaf if I've ever seen one
I guess we coulda said a little less mature audience and a little more e for everyone.
Randomize
