if i had a dollar for every time ive had to piece a night together like they did in "the hangover", i bet i could outsell their weekend box office earnings...
LA Sucks. The only way i can get laid is if i tell people im at a law firm that represent film producers.
And when they figure it out, they act like IM shallow.
I'm getting very mixed reviews. One friend told me to stop drinking bc the last 3 times he's heard from me I've either peed my pants, been throwing up, or people have been having sex beside me.
Strangely enough I'm encouraging you to keep drinking for all the same reasons.
Puked up what appears to be battery acid next to the treadmill. Everyone noticed.
Are we going out tonight?
My conscience says no but my vag says yes
Learned my lesson. Pink pantydroppers out of a beer bong=deceiving
You were crying because you hate wine coolers but you really wanted to prove you could finish it
She's wearing her dead grandmother's pearl on the married finger so no guys "bother her" tonight... I am not THAT committed to Girl's Night.
I wish men found my impeccable aim when spitting into the sink attractive.
This question may sound intrusive, but how did pushing out a baby affect your vagina?
L'Shannah Tovah!
Whats that? My new stripper name?
That's a lot of people she's fucked in one picture.
I am about five seconds from ripping off my clothes and throwing myself into the ocean to become a mermaid
We need to catch up immediately. I took ecstasy and made out with carrot face this weekend.
I’ve got full Covid immunity, blonde hair and great tits! I’m basically unstoppable
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