first missing my period. then crying at the clinic... but why?
we had sex 3 months ago. you missed your period 2 weeks ago. but nice try.
Just hit on a fat chick so shed buy me a drink. Then i walked away. Nice to see how the other half lives.
slowly transforming into a stationary lump of steel. how can you tell me that was JUST weed
I really need to stop coming home drunk and lint rolling my rabbit.
I know eh? If a man wants to pay 7 bucks to see some boobies he should be allowed to do so in peace.
I think a used vibrator from amazon.com is a great valentines day gift foe my ex.
im standing in line right now while the 711 manager calls other locations to see if they have the john cena collectors slurpee cup in stock...yep i need to get laid
The bed I'm sleeping in has a headboard only handcuffs could love. I'm gonna pick up a local dude and wreck that.
You peed on someones bathroom floor while saying people are rude for not flushing
And we just chatted casually as i peed on the floor and she peed in the toilet
He washed his dick in my kitchen sink after sex. I think he might be a keeper.
If this gives you any indication of my current state, I stopped at Meijer after work and bought funyuns, pregnancy tests and chocolate.
FUCK WHALES
There might be a dead possum in your bed, your roomate is extremely distressed!
I just timed my pee with a stop watch. From when the main stream started to ended. It was 45.1 seconds. This is the truth trust me.
Randomize
