there are singles shoved down my panties. this is the type of summer job i always wanted.
she wants me to text her or call her all the time when we are apart...this is not high school...
I bought a nasal spray, my nose needs to be in order by the weekend
i just opened the overnight bag i packed at 2am last night. Apparently all i thought id need was a handful of quarters, mascara and one sock
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
And he tried to make it as casual as possible by asking where i was going on vacation while he was poundin me.
Sex tent. say it aloud its amazing. promise you we rnt stoned.
my favorite homeless guy just told me I drive like Batman, achievement unlocked
Just realized Ive had sex in or around each thing listed in Green Eggs and Ham besides the fox.
I have cobwebs on my vagina for halloween. And bats fly out when I open my legs.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She was drunk and naked on our couch, sweating and masterbating to SNL. We made eye contact and she didn't even stop. It's new-roommate-o-clock
Life Epiphany- I need to have children so I can be the drunk grandma at family functions. Its my destiny.
Yeah we do. It needs to be like a good penis- long, substancial, and able to make people cry.
He threw me over his shoulder and carried me outside, all the while drinking from the bottle of rum he was holding, while my ex watched. I'm winning the break-up.
That's it. I'm moving to LA & sitting on his face.
She looks like a character that batman would try to kill, or something.
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