Fun fact: he pulled out my nuva ring while he was fingering me.. he looked really confused at me and it a couple of times, so i just said "surprise! not only is it good for pleasure, it's also really handy for storing plastic toys." I'm thinking he's definately gonna call.
She fucking ripped my chandelier out of my ceiling. How does that make her a keeper?
Totally just sport flirted the shit out of a girl on a wheelchair. I've done my good deed for the day.
I mean besides the fact someone got stabbed, I still had a pretty good night.
Well, I wanted to be you for Halloween but I couldn't fit seven dicks in my mouth.
Why is there a keg in our kitchen? I'm not complaining but why is there a keg in our kitchen?
Well you tried to pay for a drink with your keys for one...
He hasn't texted me back since last week when we sexted. I think telling him I wanted to choke him with chains was a bit much for our first time.
I want to go out and have good clean fun.
Ok, but that does not include Bud Light Platinum and your vagina.
So when the drug raid cops tell you, you should get out of the relationship, it probably means its time.
I just googled: how soon can I pee on a stick. What is my life coming to.
i keep replaying things i did last night. and remembering new things. and its a constant cycle of torture
Is there a hallmark card for "could you please slide the FUCK out of my DMs"....?
And by not handle it I mean it makes me want to sit on his face
Legal advice please. Can you sue someone for jerking off to photos of you?
Randomize
