the beds are so narrow its like a jenga threesome
Every good night starts with white castle burgers and shots in the parking lot.
Just ran into my ex in the WOMENS bathroom. He said I did this to him. Swore he never wore my clothes but said he liked my skirt. I need vodka.
His was the first dick to ever be in my mouth... Of course I'm going to the wedding.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We did it and he fell asleep and I was bored so I decided to go back to the party...is that bad?
Sitting next to a retarded hot married man on the plane, I got 6.5 hrs to homewreck this shit.
THERE IS PRACTICALLY A BEER FUCKING WATERFALL
I have glow sticks stuck to my boobs and a missed call from the 911. I'd say last night was a success.
i was completely deserted.. so i stood outside starbucks for 20 minutes trying to convince the employees to open early and take care of me.. fuck you guys
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Is it bad i hate my job so much I'm actively trying to get fired tonight by drinking all the booze we have so I don't have to show up for my double tomorrow. Four mango vodkas later I have decided I'm a better server drunk.
Hatred of squirrels is the least of my hereditary problems.
I just woke up on the living room floor at my parents house. The last thing I remember was making a scene at Buffalo Wild Wings because our waitress "Sent the game into overtime" with a 0-0 score
So vagazzling was a success
Anal on new furniture sounds like a quickest way to violate a warranty
Dad danced on top of the bar with me last night. And has a video of me doing a beer bong.
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