I feel like if your cat could talk she would call me a cunt.
I don't know where your sunglasses are, I was too preoccupied with girls not old enough to drive past midnight.
doooooooo herrrrrrrrr
I'm out of practice. be my yoda
put your penis in her you must.
Good to know: if a hot girls asks to go back to my place, she probably just needs to vomit all over my bathroom
He was making tequila spiked Arnold Palmers and murmuring things in Spanish.
I love foreign exchange students.
Do you remember calling yourself Captain Cockblock and openly giving out everyones sexual history? Because you did.
I gave him head while he watched NASCAR. My future flashed before my eyes.
I got mine. It's a truly beautiful penis. Plus he pulled his tongue muscle on my vagina.
Seriously why is the deadbolt locked. This is the second time I'm having to sleep on the porch using my boots as my pillow. I can't wait till the next time your drunk.
Shhh, I'm sleeping. Just let it happen Jess.
Remember that time you gave me a fat lip with your vag? We should do that again!
Who has the safety vest from this past weekend Additionally, who has the dancemaster glove?
He is what would appear if the douche troop all had rings and we summoned someone like the Captain Planet kids.
I mean. I'm excited for the Seahawks too. I just love nachos.
ugh i want to get waxed but I’m afraid. my vagina has had enough trauma this week, i don’t know if I can put her thru any more.
He referred to our sex as "an Olympic event." My tits are bruised.
Randomize
