The jonas brothers playing in your laptop. This is why guys won't sleep with you...
she told me she was pregnant in a never have i ever game
i'm laying naked in your bed you should probably come home
move.
Fist pumping is hard when country music is playing FYI but I am committed
I love taking my adderall while im in class! As soon as I take the pill out everyone around me just stares in envy!
I'm so horny
I have no idea who this is, but I'm up for a lecture on self-respect
I'm holding onto the sink for dear life. Pretty sure if Iet go I'll turn into a shit propelled man rocket.
We were fucking while the tv was on, and one of those animal cruelty commercials came on. We then switched over and started doing it doggy style. It was then that I realized that I'm going to hell.
Well watching will be involved...it'll just most likely be of me licking your penis instead of me trying to understand how Hans Solo goes up against the Galactic Empire...
after you left he started opening his bottles by smashing the neck against the edge of the fireplace and pouring beer into his mouth. it was about the manliest thing ive ever seen. its probably how lumberjacks open their beers... if they didnt have their axes handy.
Me too, I feel like I pinched your nipples excessively. At the time it seemed like a good idea, but in retrospect I'm not so sure.
my balls were so many shades of blue last night I could have used them as paint and replicated the entirety of Picaso's blue period. The girl was an art major I feel like this metaphor is appropriate.
The walk home lasted longer than the sex. He lives in the flat above the bar.
Ya know, one would think a restraining order would keep me from fucking my ex.
I have 3 vacation days left and I'm guarding them like a gay dragon on a pile of gold dildos molded after celebrities.
Smaug the FABULOUS
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