dont worry your back hair reminds me of angel wings
Either he has two lazy eyes or he really likes my tits..
a lady just got escorted out of the bar because she came in carrying a can of gasoline while smoking a cigarette....this place is the definition of class
I just masturbated mid-day, thinking of you
I think that is one of the most romantic things I have ever heard from a fuck buddy on v-day, there is a strong possibility that you will soon be my girlfriend.
I'm not a pervert.. I just like to be naked...
i'm pretty sure the only people calling it "sexting" are ones who don't actually do it
she said "the two best ways to sober up are to nurse someone or give a blowjob" and im gonna go along with it.
And tell the hostess not to worry, she's narcoleptic and fell asleep on the way to the bar, but she'll be fine in a few minutes.
I made out with about ten people last night. And four of them were just on the way to my car from the bar. And one was my roommate.
he spent an hour trying to rescue a bug from the sink. turned out to be a sesame seed.
I know. It was just so disappointing. I almost made it. And now the "when's the last time you peed your pants" clock has restarted. Lol
I didn't want to leave, I wanted to move into his ass
Giant stained glass jesus is judging my black pleather pants
HEY I WILL KIDNAP THE FUCK OUT OF YOUR PET GOAT
Have I told you i love you?
there's no need we are two peas in a naughty pod of fuckery
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