i'm listening to "transmissions" by The Tea Party from like '97 and waxing my legs. fuck i'm awesome in my alone time
Who was more unwelcome: The two of us at the party last night, or Kimmy Gibler at the Tanner residence?
no normal human would even think about making waldo slutty but you
Don't let her tell you any different. She licked the balls of my hamster for that $100. It was a group bet. She won.
every single time I see a picture of the two of them on facebook, I want to just call her and scream "your boyfriend said I give the best head on the east coast". But I've been told that would be inappropriate.
We thought we were getting kicked out but then he started tickling the bouncer. Next thing you know the bouncers giving him a piggy back ride to the bar.
Should I have a moral quandary about Skyping topless with him while his son slept in the other room?
I heard that clinking noise from behind me and I already knew you were whipping out a Smirnoff in class. Again.
the good news is that even if it's Alex's, I can still say it's Colin's, because the kid will come out ginger anyway!
who knew there'd be a plus side to your ginger fetish one day?
Lesson learned. No more vodka and toaster strudel
I was trying to drink every time they said planned parenthood but my body isn't cut out for this.
Video footage says last night I reincarnated as stripper Shania Twain... Man, I feel like a (slutty) woman.
I've never had someone have to dis-arm themselves before I sucked their dick prior to that
I’m literally watching say yes to the dress, eating fancy cheeses with crackers, and I have orange dark chocolates. All of which is being washed down with merlot. And I’m 100% sure a porno is gonna go down next door tonight. They don’t have a car and arrived via taxi. Happy holidays from motel 6 Pendleton Oregon!
its a comptetion of fuckups and im HERE TO WIN
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