Bc you can definitely buy condoms if ur a 14 year old girl
I just poured my flask into a drink. Then I realized the drink belonged to the guy next to me so I stole it from him. He confronted me and I made out with him to distract him. When I looked up, I realized his wife was watching. Its barely 10:00.
she peed on how many people?
You rolled out of the car, got on all fours and puked then just nonchalantly stood up and waved goodbye and thanks for the ride.
we flagged you as soon as you tried to put the lime in the microwave to prove it was really a kiwi. again.
No, this is non-alcoholic oatmeal.
She wanted to roleplay. Apparently you be snow and i'll be a plow wasn't an option
It's now 8:05 on a Wednesday night and I'm already going home with my bra in my purse.
Some people dream of being astronauts others dream of having genitalia that shines like Edward Cullen in the sun
I am no longer drunk enough to crave tostitos
My phone just said I texted someone at 430a and said let's fight. Then I texted them an hour later and said thanks.
So, Kevin dropping me off at urgent care. Seems my tampon slipped out of reach. Even after he tried to get it out with some kitchen tongs.
How are you and your magical vagina doing today?
I'm in the recliner and i have a bottle of wine wedged in my cleavage, drinking from a straw. Clever and classy or pathetic and sloppy?
Flirting with/getting ready to possibly sleep with a married HS classmate and getting added to a bible study group chat within minutes of each other. #Balance
Randomize
