chicago's viagra triangle is not unlike the bermuda triangle in thatt things just get lost...... planes, ships, dignity, virginity, etc.
does drinking everclear count as brushing your teeth? because i think they are sterilized
i dont care how hungover you are, go back to the frat house and get him. HE IS 11.
Nothing is more important than the last pool party of the season. Call in sick or gay or something.
These shoes are way too nice for a walk of shame. Its how I keep myself in line.
Sat in the shower and reenacted the "Wiggle your big toe" scene from Kill Bill. THAT hungover.
So apparently we wrote "Lube Shopping" in Paula's diary on every friday for the rest on the year....
She just took a mirror selfie at the hospital while in labor.
That's the kind of activity you can only get away with by wearing a lion codpiece
I feel I must have sex with him first to fully decide where my vagina belongs.
It's meant to be, Cynthia. You, him, and your developed breasts are meant for each other.
You can't have your cake and publicly stick your dick in it too
Every time you talk about your facial hair I immedately get horny
She woke up next me in bed and told me to stop driving so fast.
You stocked up?
No actually didn’t get a chance. If you wouldn’t mind bringing me a brownie and a bottle of Jameson that’d be nice
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