I dont think that drinking by ourselves on a saturday night counts as being "fun alcoholics"
He still hasn't made a move, so I slept with his brother last weekend. Maybe sibling rivalry will motivate........
no, forget the keg and come see this. prego pants here is dunking chicken nuggets into pudding and crying over a cat show on animal planet.
I gotta find new tactics tho. There's just so many tied up dicks one can look at before part of your soul dies.
thank god we only have to drink eggnog and rum once a year. It taste like shit.
Be there soon... with munchies, blow jobs and shoulder rubs.
I wasn't vocally whispering "she wants to bite your dick off" about that kirsten girl was I?
She clicked her fingers, said "here boy!", and pointed at her vagina.
We play this game where we catch up on what we missed over five years of not talking to eachother, then we have sex like nothing ever happened.
He sent me a recycled dick pic! He could at least use one without sunlight in it, considering it's 10pm
No you don't understand. This tree is really alive. Like in Pocahontas.
I'm the only person who goes to break up a friends with benefits and comes out with a boyfriend
I never saw such an emotional argument over yellow vs. spicy mustard.
I just don't wanna be that girl with no ride and no pants
I was peer pressured into smoking weed by a bunch of LGBTQ teenagers
Randomize
