I wish I could still say I don't know that you taste like bad ice cream.
You said that we had to leave the party together and proceeded to repeat the "ducks fly together" speech from The Mighty Ducks word for word. Soon the whole party was quite and started chanting quack..quack...quack..
You do realize that we bought beer at 9:30 in the morning to avoid sobering up. Stupidity was bound to follow.
Well someone named our apartment "the eiffel tower" on facebook check-in so I think they know..
there is no 'pace myself' on the blackout express
i lost his rear view mirror, your phone charger, and my lesbian virginity. 21 isn't shaping up too well so far.
Not sure why I sent you a picture of a black bear last night but it seemed like a good idea at the time.
I never thought I'd say this but my vagina is taking a serious break for awhile
On Friday, can we drink like its Civil Wars times and the doctor's coming to saw off our gangreen infected legs?
No, just kidding. But your faith in me to throw a lesbian bridal shower makes me think I an pull it off. To the LGBT bar!
And I wasn't prepared because its been a very long and lonely season and I wasn't expecting to find dick at Press Box trivia night....
my whole checking account just had a funeral down bourban street, paid for that, and then bought everyone 5 shots of fireball...
no it was
but you compared your dick to a female disney character
See that doesn't work because we've had sex so its awkward for you to call me mom
He eats ass but won’t hold open doors. My kinda guy.
Chivalry really is dead.
Randomize
