how the fuck does easy mac keep making itself at 3am when i'm wasted? what is this phenomenon?
you know he's having a sex change. I can't believe you called him "titty man" to his face....
I threw up into my coffee this morning.
We found him. 8 blocks away from the bars and almost at his parent's house. On the verge of tears.
Having a race with the dryer. Seeing who can get drunk/dry clothes faster.
I could really do without pictures of your asses in my inbox. That said, I'm extremely jealous that I wasn't involved.
I had him autograph the condom wrapper.
Probably twitter. Never underestimate a psycho girl with wifi
I have bite marks all over my ass. Is that an acceptable excuse for missing class?
Both guys that I'm dating were waiting for me in the parking lot after work. Literally the most awkward situation I have ever been in
Of course I'm watching space shows while stoned on the science channel. Why would I want to learn while not baked out of my skull?
There's a dryer on fire at the laundromat, and everyone's just standing around taking pictures. Except me. I'm texting.
i can't believe i helped you shave your back last night, and she still didn't sleep with you.
besides the unzipped fly, the black eye and the toilet paper on your shoe you looked really sexy today baby!
He’s perfect! He listens to Genesis during sex and has a VW bus!
You really are from the panhandle, aren’t you?
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