Make note: the first date is too soon to make the "condoms are only for making balloon animals" joke.
was it more than 30 minutes?
ya
then you're in a relationship
so they made cookies with their faces printed on them...I ate jaime...she tasted like poop
so my class lasted 15 minutes this morning because this kid puked all over himself..only at radford
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
halfway through eating me out he goes 'oh that reminds me i have to buy fish for good friday'
ill do whatever it takes for me to get more high and eat pie
Thanks for convincing the hot dog guy to give me one for $1 after I drunkenly dropped the first one. I loved your reasoning "I know you mark that shit up! I work in retail!"
for future reference: playing drunken strip-twister is a euphemism for a threesome. just thought you should know.
so according the 72 facebook statuses i put up last night that i don't recall, i would say it was a success. how about you?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Hahhaha I literally just rolled outta bed and went to get beer in my pj's and slippers. God I love graduating
I enjoy it and I rock at it. I wish there were a respectable way to make giving blow jobs a career.
Do you know anyone with a stuffed cougar? I want one for a self portrait to hang in my house. A bobcat or lynx might work too.
And we're now at 8 people from the office coming to my desk to ask me "do you feel better?".
the puppy had a little leather gag and was using a ball gag as a fetch toy
You couldn’t remember the word hand jibber. Instead, your drunk ass offered the bartenders “unlimited hand fritters” if they wouldn’t cut you off.
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