omg, he ripped it...he ripped my vagina...best. night. ever.
somehow writing 'not a skank' on yur boobs doesn't really make you look less skanky...
So...it's hour 4 of day 5 of week 7 of my internship, and so far all ive done is shred paper. all. day. long. it's like working for Enron.
yes you're required to wear a bikini its the snowpocalypse beach party
i just added no after every hockey player in my phone..
I think I'm about to have sex with a second person before noon hehehhe! You're welcome America.
he had me stop mid-blow job to make me use my phone to id a song on the radio..
i wasnt really sure how to responde to that.
WHEN DO I FOLLOW THESE PEOPLE. I WOKE UP THIS MORNING &FOUND TWEETS FROM ILLUMINATI AND "hot shot 6th grader"
I would have been the big man on campus...just flop my wang out on the table and how them what they were gonna deal with if they dropped the soap
Just fucked up my mustache shaving, gonna have to take it off because now it makes me look like a pedophile
FYI your old mustache made you look like a pedophile
is there a line between daddy kink and oedipus complex?
Just hooked up my fuck buddy with a job working for my dad...this can only end bad.
She tried deep frying a banana by placing one, unpeeled, into a toaster.
Roomies told me I showed up to my house alone with no pants on and burrs in my hair... I live in the middle of the city
Just rode a bull topless for a free bar tap for a month
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