i keep walking around campus wondering if anyone is as stoned as i am
Dude I thought this was going to suck, but moving back in with my dad is like being at a frat party every night only everyone is 40 years old.
Realized I'm still to drunk to comprehend work emails. Marked them all as unread. Here's to responsible hang overs.
he kept a regular condom in his wallet just so he could comment on how it wouldnt fit before whipping out the magnums. i give him points for the build up
you described his penis as a "portable fishing pole"
you can now officially say a girl has shaved your initials into her pubes. welcome to the club.
Priorities: waking up on your doorstep desperately clutching half a meatball marinara but with no sign of your keys, purse or housemate. Where are you?!
He wanted me to blow him while he did curls and looked at himself in the mirror. Not sure if gay or ego maniac.
Idk man, most things I eat are even better than I expected. Like when I drunkenly put mac and cheese on a slice of cheese pizza or when I soberly put mac and cheese into a Taco Bell burrito.
Update: He still has devil magic genitals.
Still, being medically ordered to stuff things in your vagina is amazing.
Sorry I twat blocked you earlier I didn't know Sam was over. But, my house my rules, I don't have to knock before I enter. I did see naked butts and smelt "Sex Stank" in the air, we're going to have to set some ground rules when I get home. Hugs and kisses..Mom
After all this I still can't spell gonorrhoea without autocorrect
Where is everybody?
It's pretty much split between the strip club and jail.
she was sitting with her tits completely out.. on the kitchen floor..eating pickles by the handful... rapping mac dre... and then lit up a cig and continued...that drunk
Randomize
