He said he was just looking at my pictures and was thinking about how he wanted to cut my hair..then dye it black and put platnium blonde extensions throughout it and layer my hair
dude, never let a drunk girl playbite your dick. the doctor came in laughed and left.
you fucked my boyfriend. margarita girls night will not fix this.
i was drinking at the bar last night with a guy with no bottom teeth, wearing zubas and a polka dotted hat. if that isn't the definition of wisconsin, i dont know what is
Think I pulled my pelvic muscle.
I think I pulled my ashamed of myself muscle.
It's either my own vomit or popcorn butter in my ear right now. Banking on the second one.
We made popcorn last night. So it's both
How external is "for external use only"?
Finishing last nights 1.5L of wine and beef jerky for breakfast. Work looms, ever the prickly bitch.
GLITTER SLIP N SLIDE MUTHAFUCKAH~
Damn why is there no horse blowjob emoji?
I just had the stunning realization that I lost my virginity in a bunk bed.
As yoda would say; A bitch, she is.
Well ill be drunk so just come find me. Its like where in the world is Joey San Diego
my vagina is like this close to growling at me and leading me onto the nearest dance floor
make it buy you a drink first
Oh my god, it's like someone broke the off button in my butthole
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