Manager just farted into the intercom. Whole place heard it. A number of people stopped everything and looked at him. Best. Night. Ever.
If i have to listen to his problems about his girlfriend, he should at least let me suck his cock.
So he sent me a text that said "say hi to your vajayjay for me"
Was there any message he wanted you to relay to your asshole?
Just ate cheeseit crumbs off the floor. i feel like Kirstie Alley.
It's my birthday, I plan on masturbating and boating, maybe even masturbate on the boat.
Petty good. I just stapled a 5 dollar bill onto the chest of a sword swallower.
Oh no, we smoked the revival weed. It came in a Batman bag. It hit like justice. And orphans.
its not that I hate him, it's just that I wish his penis was attached to someone i like more
Uhh dog found a condom. FYI its on the table by couch please dispose of it. No reply Necessary
Woke up at 10 with bourbon being shoved down my throat and him yelling, "shot train! Don't be a bitch"
i need to un-sleep with a few of those brothers before we ever go back to that house again. i'm serious. i will not be a fraternity groupie.
HE PUT A HOLE. IN. MY. HOUSE!!!
I still can't believe a guy pooped in my backyard
I need to show you how I feel about you by fucking you repeatedly.
Disclaimer- Don’t worry about my wounded nip. I put a bandaid on it.
Randomize
