the cure to his relationship is in or around my vagina.
if this week's events in iraq have taught me anything, it's that when pulling out, always expect a mess...
So I drew a giant robot attacking a city on the chem test. My TA colored in the fire on the burning building
at that time a 4 pound meatball stuffed with pizza rolls seemed more important than bailing you out of jail.... sorry.
You flooded my bathroom while trying to construct a hot tub. All three of you were completely naked.
I'll just tell her I'm here with you picking out a buttplug for her to say "I'm sorry".
The sun is gonna brush it's hairy dick across my forehead in the morning, gently whispering: "you're 4 hours late for work"
Found a fruit roll up in my pocket this morning. This means my daughter has a peach blunt wrap in her lunchbox.
First of all you can never say anal too much. Second I now think you're a total gentleman.
Rarely has that paragraph ever been put together
We were in the middle of fucking and she was just like "Do ya wanna play Harry Potter Scene It?" I musta been really bad lol Anyways, her tattoo healed nicely.
I did my patriotic duty. I woke up next to a veteran this morning.
I have an ideal penis or slightly above ideal penis in every country that isn't ruined by the specter of communism
I yelled at your uterus for you.
Cmon. I wasn't that bad.
You stumbled ass first into the litter box, and everytime we tried to get you to move you said " if I fits. I sits."
I woke up thinking it was Friday. I was disappointed (to say the least). I am pretty sure I have gained the quarantine fifteen (but I won’t know until I try to put something other than elastic-waisted shorts on). And I am probably going to need dentures because I am grinding my teeth so much. But hey--this is temporary, right?
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