fix you gags fore go to garrits please? !!!!!!!
What does that mean?
How when the cu k dos I yet u
Focus
I took my penis out way before I got to the bathroom and some dude kicked me out.
It saddens me that girls will never know the wonder feeling of pulling your sweaty nutsack off of your leg.
I just found out how hard it is to put together a fake Christmas tree with a hangover.
Her name is Sherri and her sister's are Brandy and Champagne. Of course I want to meet her parents.
3rd rule of buttsex she must be clean and shower recently
and skipped dinner
Should I be alarmed that you're a regular enough at a bar to show up in sweatpants?
Bookstore boy and I went out, he came back here and I tried to fool around and he respects me too much blah blah I'm a predator.
I just got this text "hi this is Julie, I met you last night in the bathroom. You asked me to text you and remind you that you ate an entire lime, because you figured your sober self in the morning would be confused."
Not sure how a movie about Jesus has managed to make me feel insecure about my boobs but it has.
I'm not entirely sure that the guy that just texted me is not on drugs right now. I'm also not entirely sure that he isn't about to be incarcerated.
Went home w the NY Islander in a NY Rangers jersey, needless to say he was pissed
I just don't think it's that outlandish to ask that I don't get messages from my husband at 8:30pm on a Wednesday telling me he peed on our cat
I'm a mess. I mean I almost got off but I'm a fucking rubics cube down there so il givenhim the point
just realized I'll be in a check out line with just Hershey syrup and condoms. I don't know if I am setting a good image for our generation
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