i'm three days dirty after drinking 14 hours last night and some other questionable behavior (hula hooping at a large concert, for example) i will just always bring the class. and the sluttiness.
Is it awkward that I've slept with every guy in this room?
Only if they know about it too.
he kind of looks like leonardo dicaprio...in whats eating gilbert grape
wtf, did you fuck a retard?!
And then I'm going to yell into her vagina and see if it echoes
My dick just stopped my iPhone from falling into the toilet.
Slutty costumes are my most sacred holiday tradition! Wearing a not-slutty costume is like putting cheezwiz on a communion wafer.
I asked the full emergency room who else was there because of homecoming and every single person raised their hand
All I've succeeded in doing since I saw you is drool on my shoulder
If we don't have crazy animal sex tonight at least twice, I'll know he's cheating on me.
Who wouldn't want crazy animal sex with you?!
A cheater.
call me with an emergency in 5 min. This chick has a strap on hangin behind the bathroom door.
A surplus of mistakes were made and I don't know what 89% of them were.
Costco (TM). Making alcoholism affordable!
Literally just sitting around waiting for someone to come along and fuck my chakras back into alignment
Some guy I'd never met and didn't invite threw the punch bowl at the wall and set the plastic skeleton on fire. I don't think we'll be getting the full deposit back
Good, I've got all this booze. It's intimidating to be in the room alone with it..
Randomize
