i feel this outfit says i'm better than you, but i might give you a handjob behind a building
You tried taking his shirt off at the bar. He was 37 and married with kids.
It's been two days. My balls feel like watermelons.
When the doctor said the anal leakage might not be reversible without some lifestyle changes you start asking if it's worth the entertainment value.
Just realized how sopa could affect my ability to watch porn, son of a bitch
oh yeah, there may or may not be a large boa loose in the house when you get home.
Yes. We drank 3/4 of a handle of vodka, fried and ate a 3lb package of bacon, I tackled the neighbors snowman, made snow angels in our underwear, and then fucked all night. Christmas success.
If all that ever happens between us is orgasms and dank memes, I think I'd be okay with that.
I'm asking you this because you're my dad....is coke a drug I should try?
What happened last night dude?
YOU SHIT ON MY FUCKING COFFE TABLE THATS WHAT FUCKING HAPPENED!!!
I took out a life ins. policy Thursday. It's okay I can die in Nashville now.
I can handle him. I'm made of spite and hot wings.
It's difficult when the romantic and the hedonist in me are fighting. I want him to respect me and hopefully pursue an actual relationship, but then I remember he fucks like a GOD and loves my kink. Oh, life's hard.
Chaz got drunk and passed out so we superglued a kazoo to his mouth. Listening to him Panic when he woke up was fucking hilarious.
You abruptly started screaming because they had and I quote “calamari on the hoof”
Randomize
