he kept whispering yes yes yes yes the entire 15 minutes. i almost wish it was a quickie.
He just helps fat girls get exercise. One walk of shame at a time.
I'm taking this break up pretty rough.. I've never been to sad to masturbate.
something isn't right. i offered to be his sex slave and he declined..
almost got into it with the cashier. bitch dont look at me like that just cuz im only buying wine and icing. ill fight.
Dude I am not desperate enough to pay my dealer in change. Maybe tomorrow.
Not only is he in the circus, the man survived a near death experience and has an accent. She might as well have found a unicorn. This shit just doesn't happen in real life. Where did she meet this magical creature?
drunk freshman in the bathroom puking keeps saying "i'm a peasant" over and over
True idk how my parents didn't know I was blackout. I ate like 4 pieces of cheesecake and showed my cousins my boobs
The only thing that got rode last night was the shit face train. I brought him home to see wht all the hype was about and he just started crying and puking in my bathroom.
I don't think stranger penis made your tonsils bleed
Found her grinding on my boss with her tongue down her throat last night. Guess who just got promoted!
I googled my name and pictures of you drinking showed up. Way to steal my thunder....
on a campus of 30,000 people, i should not be able to see every single guy I've ever hooked up with at one party.
The streets are paved with hand jobs
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