College reaches a new low. We just carved a shot glass out of a potatoe.
Stop it. You sound like you're giving birth.
you were asking all the dicks on chatroulette if they had daddy issues
I found those 18 whoppers we bought.
then again I'm sitting on a tree stump completely naked in the dark listening to some type of glee soundtrack.
so, I mean this in the straightest way possible, but don't you ever just feel like you owe Jon Stewart a blowjob...
people at meijer look at you funny when you have 37 bottles of champagne in your cart.
What should I wear?
Uhhhhh...idk? it's a gay bar
I found something that says "i'm here to party, but not fuck guys."
Good for him. He wanted to accomplish walking across niagara, I'm hoping to accomplish not throwing up tomoro nite, we all have our own priorities in life.
I guess I've just seen a lot of penises since then
Get here, there are important joints to be smoked and pies to be eaten
Whatever. I am not explaining the physics of my dick slapping.
Please send pictures of any nice new years ladies you run across in town, as I've forgotten what women look like.
You owe me a one night stand and a line. Possible an inflatable flamingo as well. And a caesar salad.
Last thing I remember I was riding on a picnic table being hauled around by a lawn mower with an empty case of bud light on my head...
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