Are you okay?
Don't worry. Self-respect preserved. My speech was Grey's quality... I made him cry.
yea ive hooked up with like half those guys
and i've hooked up with the other half...when our powers combine, we are captain slutbag
I'd be more interested in girls if they were more interested in anal.
life lesson# 3: saying thank you on a subway really means "im not a native new yorker, so please feel free to touch my ass"
hmm. interesting. explain how you came across this knowledge.
i sneezed. he said bless you. i said thank you. he groped. i again said thank you.
you refused to leave the drive-thru at mcdonalds until the cashier took a jello shot
I told her she has a very organized vagina; somehow she took offense.
Oh shit. There are penis maracas
Oh we will ALWAYS be together. Or I'll have to delete my Facebook altogether. I've drunkenly boobie trapped photos of us into every album. There's no way I'd ever have the patience to go through that deletion process.
I feel like I ran a fucking marathon on my knees last night and there are bruises to prove it.
That was like me applying to a law school drunk at 5 am
Hahaha. That's funny.
But I got an 18k dollar per year scholarship
I may have made out with a tranny last night, which, if I don't get fired for everything else that happened, really makes last night epic.
If I don't have hickies that last till tuesday, I didn't do this weekend right
Apparently it's bring your ugly annoying ass piece of shit slob of a baby day at work
He lit my hand on fire and bought me chicken nuggets. I'm in love.
so on the street and some kid is chanting "cheeseburger, cheeseburger, cheeseburger!" while pumping his fist in the air. i agree.
Randomize
