Dude that chick in the corner just threw up
Hot
I'm going to go hang out on a giant wooden pirate ship for 5 days.
god I hate her. why can't she just fuck and leave like a normal slut.
at 4 in the morning i heated a family sized mac n cheese for a minute and decided to eat it frozen cuz I didn't wanna wait for that long
what is college for if not random hookup sex?
learning.
i would literally fuck learning if i could.
Company party. Just told vp "you look like a cat person"
My TA just came over to give us drugs. Now he's drinking grey goose with my roommate and explaining his thesis to her. This is too much.
I just bid on a $9000 car because I think its my ex-girlfriends. Yes I wanna hit that again.
IT IS CHRISTMAS EVE AND I AM SUPPOSED TO BE HAVING SEX WITH AN ATTRACTIVE BLACK MAN IN THE NEXT FEW DAYS AND I JUST GOT MY PERIOD. WHEN PEOPLE ASK ME WHY I DON'T BELIEVE IN GOD I WILL TELL THEM OF THIS DAY.
Yes she scared me. She had NIPPLE CLAMPS ATTACHED TO A STUN GUN.
Dude, my ex girlfriend showed up, bought me a tequila shot, made out with me and then disappeared into the night. Then her current girlfriend saw, so she came over and slapped me and then I made out with her too
This was before halftime
I RUINED A LESBIAN RELATIONSHIP BEFORE HALFTIME
You haven't demanded nudes today. You alright?
Got to work this morning and thought... Did I really dance on that pole last night
I just noticed, at some point last night I got on iTunes and purchased over 100 classical piano songs.
Holy shit dude........stairs
Randomize
