Arguably, the best part was cockblocking those squirrels.
she was home schooled till college. were she learned how to give the most amazing blowjobs is still a mystery.
Sober Sundays just aren't working out anymore.
So he ended up throwing a watermelon that he stole from the cafeteria saying "if i cant have it no one can" of the 5th floor.
What's the politically correct way of saying you've made someone your bitch?
she's traveling up the coast with her camera and a stash of pot cookies eating food from different campuses. said she slept in a closet 2 states away last nite... of course I'm interested
i ran into my coworkers when i was walking home last night. i was shirtless. i think i gave my shirt to Walter. he's a cat.
im still drunk. birthday week begins.
Ugh why does it have to be margarita Monday. Why can't it be pants off dance off beer pong but with jager Monday.
Nothing brings compassion from a group of cafe workers like walking in and asking if they have a 'hangover special'
He fed us edamame like baby birds. Slowly all coming back to me.
Now in listening to Jerome Bettis speak at the hall of fame and my boner just started twirling a terrible towel
I'm still depressed that I forgot my ice cream at your place
I just got out of the shower and I feel like I just washed off 10 lbs of bad decisions...
We finally gave up searching because everything had started to look like flip flops
Is it appropriate to be taking shots at 11 on sunday?
Absolutely same thing as church only different
Randomize
