So would u like to explain why you ate all my pickels and took my 1800?
About that, i have your 1800 on my desk with intentions of returning it but theres nothing i can do about the pickels
Nice. Sry i missed. Also sorry that i pissed on my toothbrush last nite
Sink seemed easy target but balance was no good
I think someone spiked my drink last night. .. Like all 20 of them.
One can only hope that this night would end with my thumb in another humans rectum.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
her vagina probably looks like a grenade went off in a deli
Just took a closer look at the paper that kid wrote me his number on. It was an ATM receipt. His balance is $17.89. i made the right choice.
Technically this isn't a church so we could have been drinking this whole time.
Dude feel your hair right now it feels so weird like pasta
she was stripping to whiskey lullaby. most depressed boner.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I didn't just get this from the chlamydia fairy.. You should probably get tested.
Just be aware that next year I will probably try to seduce you to avoid going to the gym
One of those days. Also, your pants are now in my protective custody.
This strange Italian man told me he wants to take me for ice cream and kept calling me "tomato" from tinder
She tied me to the bed and did lines off my chest before sex. I’m going to put that on my bucket list just so I can cross it off
So random question: what's a good way to tell your brother that his Skype sex kept you awake last night? I'm not really sure how that conversation begins.
Randomize