well thats why i like him. because he makes you happy. on the other hand i think he masturbates too much while texting you.
guys are only as good as the porn they watch
..and it was like all of a sudden I could hear the sounds my brain was making
I want to hold her baby but I'm afraid I'll give it a contact buzz
this whole plan B standoff thing with her is really starting to make me nervous
hey dude come in here and see how much of my beard i can put in my mouth!
Ice that vagina down, get some coffee, and try not to walk with a limp. It's time to dominate, pull it together
That kid i sell weed to just had his mom give him a ride over here she waited in the car while he bought a bag
Got stiff armed by the garbage man on the back of the truck...I just wanted to ride one block dude
It's just unfortunate that I still have the image of him having sex with me fresh in my mind
eh, I feel I'm heading for a breakdown and I need to get it out of the way before I start writing that lab report.
Weight watchers just said "you've tracked beer three times recently, want to make it one of your favorites?" I'm begining to understand why I needed to go in the first place.
When i was leaving for work this morning, i realized the neighbor was passed out drunk, with no pants, and a half eaten whopper on my lawn. Knowing that hey..we have all been there before.. i decided to give him a pillow and a blanket rather than wake him up.
If you were to to ask if I just hid 4 shooters or Jameson it my bra and panties the anwer would be yes, yes I did
My parents left me the house for the weekend...you know what that means?!
Harry Potter marathon and no pants.
Randomize
