We may or may not have a drunk cat on our hands.
i love that when i tell my kids and grandkids about how we first met it will be about this little thing called a "poke" on facebook
watching "look who's talking now." getting choked up at the end when they find each other at the cabin
doesn't that movie star kirstie alley and have talking dogs in it? new low...even for you
i am literally watching eva make a trashbag diaper for you to sleep in tonight. whole new level of low for you.
Worst night here by far. And ive slipped in my own piss so thats saying something
even the AIR tastes like tequila.
i was gonna do a lot worse than just throw cat food on you while you were passed out, but then you sleep vomited and i felt a little bad
Here's a tip. Don't party with someone that needs sexual attention. Drinking and sexual attention don't mesh well in the morning. Especially over a bowl of Cheerios.
So, this year for my birthday, want to get rip-roaring schmammered and watch my episode of my super sweet 16? We can do lines off my tiara.
Please tell me I didn't try to make out with a 70 year old Romanian man last night ...
it wasn't a total waste of time; I mean how often do you get to play scotch pong?
.....fair enough
Just got tinder matched with my COMM TA. Game on.
I asked him if we were going to get arrested for doing it in the bar parking lot. "Absolutly not" said the guy getting the blow job...
Thanks for supporting me through Robs retirement. I'm still in shock, but your dick helped.
You know your life has gone off the rails when waking up in a Spanish hospital with alcohol poisoning and no memory of how you got there is not even your top wildest drinking story.
Randomize
