Youre a pretentious asshole and im not sure who you think you are. Get the hell over yourself and the self righteous culture snob image because its pretty obnoxious.
Dude, TWO hot chicks on jeopardy tonight. gonna be a good one
Dude, I am so turned on right now. Hot chick with glasses from brooklyn is absolutely crushing right now, taking whole categories. might beat off to jeapordy...
do another line during during the commercial and make the magic happen during double jeopardy.
just paid a stripper to have a minute conversation about the arizona game WTF
I only make drug deals in a British accent. It's my way of making sure it doesn't get too sketch.
The working title of my paper? "Tailgating: A Big Clusterfuck of Kids Who Dont Actually Give a Shit about Football"
I know you don't remember, but the teeth marks on my face say it happened.
it was a frathouse cornucopia of foul mixed drinks and "sangria", which im convinced was blood and pcp
you missed 2am bagpipes and my roommate looking hot as fuck in a kilt
Oh I fucked him, definitely. We played Strip Halo.
Just learned that the cute guy I've been flirting with at the beach this whole time is actually an inmate working in the community instead of being in prison.. My life is unreal
Hey, before I head out, whats your policy on casual drug use and one night stands?
may or may not have entered into a gay civil rights discussion with 6 year olds. Hint: I did.
I've run into almost every guy I've ever slept with today. It's like they know just how horny I am.
It's slightly odd going to a booty call during morning rush hour with everyone else going to work.
fucked one of the teachers, librarian job's going great
Randomize
