We drank from noon till 5 am, there was adderall and nice jews involved it was just crazy
she took her clothes off and my dick went from =====> to =>
Seriously, I would hit on barney the dinosaur right now if it meant I was going to get laid.
I really wish I didn't have to wear pants this is ridiculous
i didnt mean to paint the dog... it just kinda happened
I think you missed the wrong class. Im pretty sure we were taught how to buy cocaine.
he puked in my glove box, looked up at me and said "There's not much to say"
This from the guy I found eating salad out of a pot lid in his boxers on his porch last night.
And you will no longer be getting a thank you note from my vagina
The old guy next door tried to get me to go to his apartment for shots formoonshine. =-0
If that weren't so sketchy I would encourage it
Yeah it was almost as sketchy as a white panel van pulling up offering candy
Let me be the vehicle for you to live out your slutty half-gay dreams.
Im watching animal planet drunk, watching a documentary on mermaids. Tonight has not gone to waste.
I'm just gonna ride this ego train to sex town
i woke up and couldnt remember who was in my bed and it was so dark.. i rolled over and started kissing him and feeling his face because hey... if the blind can see like that.. maybe i could too
I am watching Wayne Gretzky and Alexander oveckhin play video games for charity. What is life right now.
Randomize
