my roommates friend slept in my bed when i was out of town..she ran out screaming cause she saw my VCR
you threw up in someones recycling bin and left a note apologizing. how drunk do you think you were?!
she asked if mt Rushmore was natural or man made
i looked up his schedule, waited outside his classroom, and handed him the receipt for plan b
Does she know that uploading nude photos to photobucket and networking are two different things? You may want to ask.
You can't have your penis and eat it, too.
hey watch out, they threw flour on everyone who passed out at their party last year.
These are your "grown up" slampiece's new hours of operation; please plan accordingly
If we accept the love we think we deserve do we also accept the sex we think we deserve?
She screamed at us, "You guys need to wake up and smell the beer-bong!"
I just asked her to come in through the window, this pretty much solidifies the whole fuck-buddy thing...
I need ecstasy. And, before you ask, the answer is yes right now
mid-sex she goes "oh my god. you aren't even going to remember my name in the morning, are you?". And i was so wasted that i straight up told her "honestly, I don't even remember your name right now"
I kinda just want to steal him and keep him forever
Grandma said I got a good handjob. I think she meant manicure.
Randomize
