Do you think you have hit the lowest point in your life when you find yourself actually condisering watching the movie "Gigli"?
I only have two rules. But i've fotgotten those rules and replaced them w 2 other rules
a guy in a toll booth on I-90 told me to fuck off for not being a red sox fan. i am going to miss massachusetts very much.
Now would be a good time to set your alarm to pick me up from jail in the morning.
So someone hacked my email and facebook and posted a boob pic I took a few years ago as my profile picture. I feel like an MTV commercial.
then you put baby powder on the bottom of your feet and walked to your room so "ladies would follow the footprints"
I really wish you were half the slut you're sister was in college
I'm going to make a mold of my tits to bake a cake for him for our anniversary.. I can see the pride in his eyes now.
You should really trust me on this one. "hit it and quit it" might not be the best career move on your part...
There's some band that practices next door to my apartment. I'm thinking we may need to check that out. I could be like, "Hey boys, thought you might like some lemonade and vagina."
I'm mailing you cans of corn and that's final.
Im at a south american orphan benefit auction drinking stoli in a coffee mug, this is what my life has become, thanks a lot community college
Went home last night with that hot British guy. Sounded like I was f-ing in a Harry Potter movie.
Ccatlin cimbing thru th sunroof plz come
so i may or may not have just had sex on the stage of the lecture hall....
Randomize