Bea Arthur died yesterday
You shut your stupid mouth
Betty White is next, I just know it.
Betty White will never die! She's like Dick Clark. Rue McCalahan is next.
I think I have a pornographic memory.
Don't you mean photographic?
No.
please quote me on this- the only thing worse than being ugly is being ugly and thinking that you're pretty
just looked at his mug shot... not really my type
Do you remember calling me and dedicating a shot to me?
I cleaned out the fridge, had to pound the brews. I am going to be wrecked for my final at 1
just remembered spooning on the cardboard and confessing to each other we had the spins.
I realized last night, I never talk dirty in German during sex. How much wasted potential is that?
Ya he's the booze devil, like if the black hole and Bermuda triangle joined forces with Captain Morgan
I am a figure skater. You should know better than to let me get drunk near any patches of ice during Olympics season.
The dysfunction is strong in this one.
Got 2 free lines of blow from some random guys on the side of 13th street.....how's your Sunday going?
Him showing up yesterday was like a giant ego stroke for my vagina.
His acid is intense dude. I was just over at his place laughing about the hole in the wall I was convinced was a cat
OMG. When you threw the used condom on your floor you threw it in my purse!!! I just went to grab my headphones and it was stuck to them!
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