Have fun with your cool freestyling girlfriend!
She can rap better than you any day
I'll let you put expensive food in me, but really, not much else.
I feel like people whose favorite movie is Donnie Darko should not be allowed to talk. Ever.
fyi, we didn't break up, we just downgraded to occasional sex without ever talking about it.
I wish straight boys touched me the way gay boys do.
Last night the nurse at the ER told me that she wished all her drunk patients were like me. Then she commented on my socks...
Well, I plan on starting the night dressed as little red riding hood. Then I plan on finishing the night dressed as a shit show in a red cape.
Tomorrow's thirsty thursday is now sponsored by the three time champion, chemisty failure. celebration starts asap.
Yea we had fun. Lost my wallet some girl has it. Sarah fell asleep in a cab and ended up at some wawa. It was cray. She's home now
I smell like a skunk, but I'm okay with that.
I just swallowed confetti and motor-boated some guys beard...#happy2015
Your the only person I know that needed stiches after a Monday morning conference call. How are you in your 20s? How
went back to my college bar last night. Bar tender doesn't remember my name but remembers me as margarita girl...I'm not even mad though
My drug dealer was just on ESPN..
I woke up to the sound of her peeing at the end of the bed at 4am.
Randomize
