I got raped by $2 you call it's. I'm still hammered. And mentoring high school kids. My life is a joke.
Just caught my bro jerking off to a lane Bryant catalog
Wine smoothie.... Not as good as I thought it would be
Hmmm just stalked him and according to his facebook he wants "whatever he can get." obviously he'd be open to the idea.
Like hey, "you just spent $135k to go to a nobody law school to drive a mini van, be a dj, live in a smalllll ass apartment that smells like cats and your girlfriend fucks other guys."
But you can still look for dick after you find Jesus.
THESE BITCHES NOT IN MY MAJOR BETTER NOT FILL UP MY SLAVIC FAIRYTALES CLASS
I would feel worse for you if you weren't waking up between a pair of double Fs that attached to a classically trained chief. Im still jacking off eating hot pockets.
We call it "Dishes: Hard Mode". Basically whoever is doing dishes gets head but needs to finish the dishes before they cum.
And so far nothing been broken!
Reading an example in the GRE study book referencing Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles while wearing TMNT pajamas. *airfist*
omg please tell me you're eating pizza right now too.
don't care how drunk i am. my dick was like "nope, not doing it, you can't make me and i was like oh yes i can"
She answered the door wearing a basket, said it was the only clean thing she had.
I’ve gone two rounds already this morning and I’m ready for a third. The moon is in the house of sluticus hornius.
Please tell me that nice older woman you're with at the bar is not your comp&lit professor.
Newest quarantine problem - I’ve watched all of the porn. Like everything on the the internet, all the DVDs, mags, VR, leisure suit Larry all of it and I’m still horny af
Randomize
