So we stole all of the newspapers out of the stands within a 1 mile radius and filled up her car with crumpled newspaper.
Who leaves their car unlocked at night?
Someone who wants to read the newspaper.
Just saw Youth in Revolt. There are only so many times Michael Cera can lose his virginity.
I have no idea where we are. But it doesn't look dirty so I don't think we are in jersey yet
Should I be alarmed that you're a regular enough at a bar to show up in sweatpants?
yeah a little bit of me felt bad about it. But the rest of me was having sex with him.
It was an 11am booty call. We were both out of our element.
he told me i smelled like babies and pine needles and he wanted to bathe with me. new boyfriend is not a keeper
theres a new barista at starbuck holy fuck she's hot
i want to face-plant into her vagina
I would feel bad that's he's locked out naked, but the world should really see that.
I'll just be sleeping in this laundry room. Come get me at bar close.
Huh interesting. Well thats too bad. Did he catch on?
I doubt it. After sex he sat there naked until the episode of fresh prince (which had JUST started) was over.
The guy I screamed at across the bar for booing the Bruins ended up buying me shots I had to explain to him there's not a chance in hell I would ever fuck a Canadian! #Bostonstrong
Nothing more ironic than raw dogging some random Asian hottie last night and then doing the walk of shame home from her place mixed in with the participants of the AIDS walk
Is there anything more American than getting day drunk and watching Hulk Hogan promos?
Our love of vodka is more proof than a maternity test
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