Its not alright that i make out with a manican.
At one point during the moaning he reminded me of Forrest Gump
all ten of us were sitting in his room with the lights off and staring at his colorful moving screensaver for two hours. That high.
Stealing vibrators from Walmart together was when I realized you'd be my Maid of Honor.
Had a farmer come into my class to talk to us today. He apparently met his wife on fb and just thanked jesus for his land. I think I am in the wrong major...
Apparently, I kept going on about how i'm going to name my first born Ramen. I think this is a good parenting move.
I feel like I've been hit by a truck, flew up and landed on a fence post that went straight through my vagina. No more vodka and sex for a while.
Seriously how many times do I have to sleep with him before he stops calling me dude
Can we just talk about how awesome I am. I just slept with a new guy while listening to the previous guys bands cd.
Also, thank you for letting me cry in your lap on the bathroom floor. I can't remember if I was clothed at that point, but if I wasn't, extra thank you.
GOOD MORNING. Have you seen the Avenger vibrators?
A special kind of bond is formed between two people when they act as a pee shield for one another for drunken pisses in an alleyway
336: Dude I lost my.phone Wednesday night at a party and just found it, three days later, on the lacrosse field....what the actual fuck.
Do you think it would be okay if i cleaned my cartilage piercing with the leftover vodka?
Don’t be alarmed my pee bowl is in your shower
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