you got in your car and made the sounds of a NASCAR, then called me on your phone and I was your pit crew. then you apparently you won the race, and THAT'S when you tried to backflip off the top of your car.
shes laying on the floor in a bowl of salsa with her pants half off and she's crying... i dont know what to do...
she got the salsa and pickles out of the fridge looked at me and said what can i make with this
Ate apple sauce off his penis. Nutritious and slutty.
These 33 Eskimo Brothers Boinked The Same Person And Couldn’t Be More Proud
We got three kegs and a backhoe. Now taking bets on what charges we end up getting arrested for. Will need bail money.
i look like a southern belle. however, i am around a million kegs. so i will be a southern shitshow.
Meeting girls and telling em you have no hair on your calves is not an acceptable pick up line
So apparently blacked out me judges a man based on what type of dinosaur he would be...
I'll remember. Also, I owe you 200 for a pair of shoes that I carelessly bought to improve my spinal structure, to improve my health and ensure that I love to be 300 years old. Like Adam. Of the bible.
17 Inappropriate Things People Did With Instruments
Best ethics paper a stoner could write. I called my professor Dr. Superfly Arandia. And I'm pretty sure I used "respect the hustle" somewhere in there too.
Best part of leaving the university? Interns are as hot as my former students, not legally off limits, and they will do anything for a full time job.
Nothing like the judgmental looks you get in the bathroom when you still have last night's glowsticks on
I just have to point out that once I typed "fa" my phone filled in "fatass"
I totally just pulled my thong out of my purse at the grocery store. Oops.
I wonder how drunk we can get before Christmas Caroling turns into trespassing.