Incredible sex, Maddow, more sex, spoon, sex again
Saw a dead body on the way to the casino. I think that's a good sign.
The ratio was 19 to 1 and the 1 was lauren so it didn't even count.
Sarah Palin just got hired for Fox News. Watch out Jersey Shore... there's a new drinking game in town
23 Men Confess The Moment They Realized They Wanted A Divorce
so she sprained her ankle somehow and her friend had to carry her out while all 7 of us watched. do we even need to vote on that or is that automatic induction into the hall of shame?
Dude, this chick, who is smokin by the way, has 4 false teeth on top from a softball accident that she can take out if she wants... Who's getting amazing head tonight? This guy!
I don't know whether to be creeped out by the fact this chick can do that, or jealous because you're getting toothless head.
I have been drinking at the bar so long today that I literally just found a spiderweb from my leg to the bar.
Remind me to switch to jello when you decide to do shots off my ass. It's so much easier to clean than this pudding.
Apparently while trying to get up from vomiting in the toilet I grabbed the seat cover for leverage and smashed my own head between it and the bowl. I don't remember this.
The 23 Most Inappropriate Things To Happen At A Funeral
I'm glad you have such faith in my ability to find the worst situations with my vagina.
Although a guy bought me a shot of fireball last wknd and I told him he wouldn't even get half a handjob for that and walked away so don't tell me I don't have standards
I accidentally flashed three cops last night. Stone cold sober.
Last night's dream consisted of you, me, a sauce pan full of cocaine and light sabers. I almost cried when I woke up.
We might as well just set our livers out to sea on burning ships
He fucked me in one of the back rooms at the club then gave me an altoid. I have mixed feelings about it still.