Best part is I totaly had to get into my dads car like I didn't have my pants off two minutes ago.
News Flash: Turtles are cuter than Jesus.
Congrats on damning at least 10 generations of your offspring to hell with just one text message. Way to start your morning off right.
Just burped. Tasted like beer and cherios...Beerios. This is gonna be quite a day.
i just made an omelette with the cheese and ham from a lunchables. and ketchup packets
julia child would be proud.
These 19 Underage Drinkers Epicly Got By With A Horrible Fake ID
It's a Westpoint/Army thing, we talk about Miley Cyrus a lot
Because when is jailbait ever not funny? Answer: Never
frozen drink friday is suspended until further notice
You lured him into the bathroom with a trail of jello shots, then proceeded to barricade the door with duct tape. You really should have thought that one through..
oh dear god, that would be like watching to female walruses mate. We need to stop going to that lesbian bar...
Well. I guess talking about me stealing your wife may not be in the list of legit conversations
These Are The 21 Strangest Sexual Fantasy Confessions
Two cats fucking in the middle of the street. I sat there and watched in my car because I didn't want to cock block the male by honkin my horn.
My night ended with a French cab driver offering me his sperm free of cost.
is leaving the club to fk in his friends van subtle?
As a general rule of thumb, I don't call until the claw marks have healed.
The whole bar erupted and in happiness and confusion as I went on about pancakes.
Rain drop, shock top, drinking can't stop stop