AHHHH!!! note to self never google image chastity belt omfg
He left the bathroom door open so i would hear him masturbate in the shower to make me feel guilty for not putting out but it just turned me on cause i like guys masturbating. weird?
ID DO HER
SHE HAS LUMPS OF DEODORANT IN HER ARMPIT, I THINK ONE FELL IN YOUR DRINK
I want a gay best friend. or apple sauce either one is fine with me
I just got home. Seriously all I remember is taking out my contacts and putting your balls in my mouth.
Youre at medical school. Im eating raw cookie dough, pickles, and orange juice. Naked. On a monday afternoon. I clearly make better life choices than you.
You got in the cab and told the cab driver "we only have seven bucks so you better drive fucking fast".
I just read "to infinity and beyond" as "to infidelity and beyond" something is seriously wrong with my psyche
so apparently last weekend we taught the mascot how to shotgun beers. am i winning college yet?
What alcohol should i drink Saturday to completely hate life?
I just broke a sweat masturbating on a Friday night. I may need a boyfriend.
Bring beers. The password is "I brought beers" but you can't come in if you're a liar
No idea who's grandma but people were just running around naked
Lucky bitch I'm at work covered in Jeff pee. And my hair smells like beer because I was trying to prove a point about PBR serving multiple purposes.
Pooping to opera.
Randomize
