ha- omfg whatt the fuck is wrong w me. Alcohol+third cousins= bad decisions
I can't finish this paper in my room because every time I get distracted I start masterbating. I think it's time to go to the library...
I understand. Hypothetically what should one do after throwing up in the shower?
She better not be too drunk to operate a blowtorch
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Do you think flip cup during wine tasting is a bad idea? They're perfect flipping cups...
i wanna pet his head its so fluffy. were gonna open a petting zoo
She actually pushed her roomie out of the way and said 'You already fucked him it's my turn!'
his life revolves around getting high and answering people on yahoo answers. he's perfect for you.
My phone now knows what I type and it prompts me with frequently used words. And anytime I use "and" and hit the space key two of the words are "unicorn" and "sausage"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just don't do feelings in the summer months.
No more jager for that guy. He jacked the neighbor kids big wheel, rode around making jet noises, then passed out behind the wheel and rolled it and broke his wrist
Let he who has not made drunken spaghetti at 3 a.m. cast the first stone.
and then the sword just ended up between my legs
Once my new license was put into my hand, a light from the heavens shined down and pauly D's voice was in my mind saying ohh yeaaah 21 yeaaah
Our sex sesh was interrupted by a bunch of hobos fighting outside his apartment.
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