Oh just a soda. I'm "driving"
shit is crazy. i just keep thinking that this kid growing inside Emily used to live in my balls.
Just woke up on a couch in the FIJI house with 2 missed calls from someone I saved in my phone as "Some DU Kid Named TJ Maybe"
you make me proud to be your friend
well we are all hammered and my parents are reminiscing about all the times they drove us home drunk from Christmas
We were just about to get down to business and shes like oh the olympics! and jumped up and turned on the tv. cockblocked by freestyle skiing. seriously?
Who won mens moguls?
That canadian guy... bilodeau... but you're missing the point, dude.
I can't believe I am actually paying for a night in a hotel for my parents so I can throw a party the night before Christmas Eve. I also can't believe they think it's their Christmas present.
It's like he's trying to get head in every car except his.
Never again. I promise. My old gay body can't handle that much adrenaline twice.
It's like my butt was the only innocence I had left and now I don't even have that.
Hell hath no fury like a woman whose gay sidekick you insult
sorry for pouring tequila vodka and whiskey down your throat and left you to sleep on a table
I wore the clothes I got arrested in last night to work today.....there is no where but up from here!
I just had to explain my bite marks to my allergy doctor when she gave me my shots...You're the best <3
So...I was fapping and during it, I got an Amber Alert notification...that's just bad timing.
i looked that guy up on facebook. the one who went down on me for two hours
what's the verdict
i've been scrubbing my vag all morning
Randomize
