Kroger has a sale on economy packs of some ridic brand of condom with a smiley devil heart on it $4.99 for 24
Sounds like a baby waitign to happen
I feel uncomfortable when she gargles my jizz.
she just refered to her hymen as "the mrs"
i may or may not have puked on your loofa in the shower.
You broke a window with your face. I don't think the landlord will be as impressed as we were.
He's got a pretty small dick but he's a total sweetheart. I'm gonna buy a new dildo and just deal with it.
i am one more weekend without sex away from dosing him with viagra and locking ourselves into a closet.
i have at this current moment imbibed enough alcohol to float immerse or otherwise submerge a goat of respectable size. tequila
Did you blow the guy you weren't supposed to hook up with again in the bathroom of pita pit? Cause that happened last night...
the bride at the wedding we just crashed said we can stay only if we strip for her. You need to get down here
for me, it's working out the tricky timing of the Viagra and nightly laxative.
Worst walk of shame man. They had a fire drill at 7am, had to walk out of her all girl dorm wearing my Everday I'm Hustling sweater
I think putting on real pants was half my issue with today
I was walking out of the bar when he said I'll see you later and I said I'll see you in my dreams and then fell face first and broke my nose
Sometimes the most spiritual fucking thing to do is punch somebody in the face.
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