Her vagina felt like a horse was eating an apple out of my hand..
Wipe that smile off your face.
this morning he rolled over looked at me and said "oooo, you look like i need a drink" and then put on his clothes and left without another word
I told him we can only be friends from now on & he said he knows but that I'm the 'best he ever had'.
you slept with him again didn't you
you can't just quote Drake AND compliment me at the same time & receive nothin. he knows me too well
Hey wes just called me saying he was asleep outside by the pond at my apt complex
yes he does come on. what guy wouldnt want his penis named after a dragon
He was trying to be aggressive in bed, but in reality, it was like watching a declawed cat try to climb a curtain. They WANT it, they just can't DO it.
So our 'date' consisted of getting drunk off champagne at four and photo-bombing the shit out of tourist's pictures all over the city. Thoughts?
Day #3 of being the only sober person at the bar. This is depression.
I may have farted on a group of children. It may not have been an accident.
I enjoy it and I rock at it. I wish there were a respectable way to make giving blow jobs a career.
had a nice chat with the older gay fellow who works in the bakery at the new vons about vday...we both feel that it's a day of dashed expectations & concerns that we'll have to be cut out of our spanx
Apparently there was a black out and the security alarms went off except I was convinced it was the microwaves and made ben unplug them all then got really frustrated cos he wasnt doing it right
I think my brain has decided it's boycotting life until it can do whatever it wants.
Wine and a Lunchable. That would be depressing if it wasn't the pepperoni and mozzarella one. Those are the shit!