I just watched Juno. I kind of wish I was in highschool and pregnant
You stuck the head of a rubber chicken you found in her house up your ass and then started running around her living room. Naked.
Please, do not let 'babydaddy' catch on as your petname for me.
over or under 1pm before my bracket is too blurry to read?
These 33 Eskimo Brothers Boinked The Same Person And Couldn’t Be More Proud
and on the second day it was tequilla tuesday. and the lord saw it was good.
be ready to rage tomorrow. like naked ranch dressing rage
I have a boner and a quesadilla why aren't you here
Found a grenade pin. Still no Dave.
if drunk means calling me and asking to borrow the game of life at 2am then I think you were drunk
17 Inappropriate Things People Did With Instruments
Dude you of all people would miss her giving him a handjob in front of the whole party
I'm pleased to know that your mom refers to me as "the ass piliager" now
The guy next to me just said he wont play beer pong on principle. Im scared.
Not sure. He doesn't know where New York is on a map but he gives an incredible spanking.
Who cares about New York?
So I'm going to regale you with a tale of someone who went out, was fed way to many shots, got super wasted and now has a date with one of the security guards from the building but has no idea what his name is. That someone is me
I need you to go into my room and get some pants then bring them and four band aids to Sam's apartment no questions