Texts From Last Night

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  (541): View more from Oregon

  So it turns out the white chocolate in the bathroom is actually soap

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  (541): So it turns out the white chocolate in the bathroom is actually soap http://tfl.nu/9u2o
  Replies (31) Good night (1139) Bad night (4517)
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  (316): View more from Kansas

  Is it sanitary to roast marshmallows over a cigarette lighter?

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  (316): Is it sanitary to roast marshmallows over a cigarette lighter? http://tfl.nu/61dy
  Replies (34) Good night (4138) Bad night (986)
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  (209): View more from California

  she met some random, took his vcard, peed in his bed, left, and then requested him as her boyfriend on facebook

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  (209): she met some random, took his vcard, peed in his bed, left, and then requested him as her boyfriend on facebook http://tfl.nu/tp82
  Replies (24) Good night (2029) Bad night (10378)
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  (732): View more from New Jersey

  Omg!!!! Call me in the morning I just saw A stripper queef out a dollar

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  (732): Omg!!!! Call me in the morning I just saw A stripper queef out a dollar http://tfl.nu/9kou
  Replies (39) Good night (6579) Bad night (3029)
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  (603): View more from New Hampshire

  went from writing my paper to watching obamas speech to crushing beers and singing springsteen in a crowd of 100 within 20 minutes. I love this country

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  (603): went from writing my paper to watching obamas speech to crushing beers and singing springsteen in a crowd of 100 within 20 minutes. I love this country http://tfl.nu/gkag
  Replies (8) Good night (5230) Bad night (1044)
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  (515): View more from Iowa

  If you're wondering about the pepper everywhere its for the ants and it was my doings. They hate pepper. You're welcome.

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  (515): If you're wondering about the pepper everywhere its for the ants and it was my doings. They hate pepper. You're welcome. http://tfl.nu/dbsh
  Replies (10) Good night (3341) Bad night (968)
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  (570): View more from Pennsylvania

  I'm laying in bed with a case of beer,.. That's how this break up is going..

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  (570): I'm laying in bed with a case of beer,.. That's how this break up is going.. http://tfl.nu/xhce
  Replies (4) Good night (826) Bad night (1805)
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  (620): View more from Kansas

  I WAS a history major. I also WAS a functioning human being. Fuck gin.

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  (620): I WAS a history major. I also WAS a functioning human being. Fuck gin. http://tfl.nu/7pmc
  Replies (3) Good night (795) Bad night (1065)
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  (301): View more from Maryland

  He said I act like a cross between a kindergartener and a high 70 year old man. Which is inacurate because it fails to account for the disco obsession.

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  (301): He said I act like a cross between a kindergartener and a high 70 year old man. Which is inacurate because it fails to account for the disco obsession. http://tfl.nu/9fz9
  Replies (3) Good night (791) Bad night (369)
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  (609): View more from New Jersey

  He can only pee with the faucet running. It's like I'm dating a fucking toddler.

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  (609): He can only pee with the faucet running. It's like I'm dating a fucking toddler. http://tfl.nu/dd1c
  Replies (9) Good night (439) Bad night (1045)
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  (231): View more from Michigan

  whats our policy on dating high schoolers?

  (1-231): View more from Michigan

  we dont have a policy but im pretty sure the state of michigan does

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  (231): whats our policy on dating high schoolers? (1-231): we dont have a policy but im pretty sure the state of michigan does http://tfl.nu/ul27
  Replies (8) Good night (2253) Bad night (637)
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  (989): View more from Michigan

  Meanwhile I'm working a fucking flute workshop and I'm one high c away from shoving a flute up the asshole of the next passerby

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  (989): Meanwhile I'm working a fucking flute workshop and I'm one high c away from shoving a flute up the asshole of the next passerby http://tfl.nu/oj8d
  Replies (6) Good night (679) Bad night (391)
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  (403): View more from Alberta, CA

  She walks around topless and loves making sandwiches. That's how a one-night stand turned intoa relationship

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  (403): She walks around topless and loves making sandwiches. That's how a one-night stand turned intoa relationship http://tfl.nu/44te
  Replies (6) Good night (1661) Bad night (413)
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  (306): View more from Saskatchewan

  just got caught singing "pop that pussy" by a very old man at work. *face palm*

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  (306): just got caught singing "pop that pussy" by a very old man at work. *face palm* http://tfl.nu/auxk
  Replies (2) Good night (672) Bad night (343)
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  (425): View more from Washington

  Found the cure to anxiety attacks.

  (425): View more from Washington

  An orgasm

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  (425): Found the cure to anxiety attacks. (425): An orgasm http://tfl.nu/ydc6
  Replies (3) Good night (1067) Bad night (288)

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