My 54 year old father just sent me a YouTube link on my school email titled "Walrus sucks his own dick" and then wrote in the email "I wish I were a walrus". What the fuck is wrong with my family?
my little brother just asked me why i have handcuffs. How do I tell him that his sister likes being taken advantage of in the bedroom?
She has a facebook friends list called oops. theres 33 people in it. she said its all the guys she regrets fucking.
All he wants to do is masturbate while I sit there with my big toe up his ass that is not even the worst part of it.
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Call me when you get back form court. Hopefully its not later than noon. Just remember..win or lose we still booze.
He gave me a trycicle he stole from a kid as an "offering" to have sex. I couldnt say no when he went through all that.
When we do our power hour over Skype I'm just going to sit on the toilet so that way I won't have to get up in the middle of it and miss any shots
They have 12 kegs and 40 bottles of liquor and a pool with a diving board. And hardly anyone at this wedding knows me. Should be a great night
Not a clue. But I did find out that his penis has a British accent.
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i dont know how he's 22 and thinks emoticons will get him laid. lady boner just died.
Nope my penis exudes pure oxygen in times of crisis.
Lab coat again saves the day - hiding embarrassing shart evidence...
My body is telling me there was tequila. My pictures say it was Jeff's fault
I gave his daughter swim lessons and in exchange he sold me an ounce. I feel so accomplished.
The moral of the story is this:the last shot of the night is always a mistake