remind me tomorrow that nothing happen between me and the guy who's shirt i'm wearing
I have got to lose weight!! Apparently no one wants to fuck a fat chick with herpes.
I have a dream, to one day wake up next to a girl, walk to the washroom and kick her kids toys out of the way. That day has come, yes we can.
Warning: at some point today you will probably see several pics of me 69-ing a blow up turtle show up on facebook. Just disregard them.
New York to be Host to America’s Biggest Singles Event
Oh my god I'm so bored. The virgin is so disinteresting when I'm not trying to cum on her face.
I think god is proud of me so he is rewarding me in discounted wine
You're alright. You just passed out while we were having sex. Then I'm pretty sure you peed. So I went home.
The spark has left our relationship. i used to make slightly inflammatory jokes at you. you would retaliate in jest. look at this. look at what is happening here.
Your lack of enthusiasm for my exciting news of drunken debauchery with an otherwise occupied vagina of one of my greatest conquests yet disturbs me. I'm not happy with you
Kylie Jenner Wasn’t in the Kardashian X-Mas Cards & the Internet is Losing it
I thought it was pretty weird, but after the marinating loins thing, i figured i'd roll with it.
Maybe he injected his testicle?
I just googled "can they trace a vibrator back to you" so that' s how my life it going.
Well he has a golden retriever set as his background so there's no way he was filming us having sex
He asked me to come stay with him so he could "see that ass and watch Harry Potter."
He's perfect in every other way. Is buying him a cockring too forward or just honest?