Fucking hipsters really piss me off man. They are just such punk as bitches, all of them. Oh, and fuck Ed Hardy too.
just found a beer in my hamper. even my laundry is a dirty alcoholic.
New plan, instead of sleeping with her, I'm just going to use her to sleep with the entire sorority.
Someone apparently named 'eleaw' just text me asking if I had fun last night.
These 25 People Had Very Inappropriate Sexual Relations(hips)
Its only fair we share our golden vaginas with the world. It would be selfish if we didn't.
He just texted me from the outside of the hospital. He called the fat broad in the bar mrs snuffleupagus about 60 times and she broke a bottle of blackberry brandy over his head.
I'd say I should re evaluate my life choices, but I'd make the same decisions only faster and wearing a push up bra.
Plus I'm pretty sure you said "love you" on the phone, so technically I should be putting you on some type of probation
My pubes were yanked out by the root when they got caught in the condom. I think it's time for a bikini wax.
These 31 People Are Lazier Than You Could Ever Imagine
you riverdanced for the cops while the rest ran away.
Starting the weekend with a pair of pants on which the zipper wont stay up. Is this a sign of things to come??
I just need like a magic vacuum to suck everything out of me and then an IV to put good stuff back in
My ex's new girlfriends ex boyfriend is getting me my nipples pierced for Valentine's Day so who's the real winner here
so at 3am I stumbled into my parents house and crawled into bed with them, I need to start dating.
The cup holder in my recliner holds a whole bottle of wine. That's definitely a sign.