I'd rather drink alone in my closet than hang out with that girl
Spotted on freeway- girl in ford focus takes a hit from a 7 inch pipe while knee driving. She winked at me. I want her life.
I shaved my legs finally. I am starting to remember what my skin feels like.
Freshman just walked up and thanked me for letting him hide under my bed when the cops showed up to the house last weekend
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My mouth holds just enough water for my bong
I five year old is judging me because I just opened a bottle of Sam Adams with my teeth before 8am
Hey Im running from the cops. hiding in a bush. when you're approaching the intersection honk the horn twice and I will come out.
They wouldn't serve more then two Shots per person, so you grabbed a group of strangers and said u werre buying them all shots, then proceeded to drink all of them.
Please send me a thumbs up pic afterwards. No homo. After you've redressed and are heading for the walk of shame out of course
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Um, would you be up for dick jousting? Stefanie is willing to pay 40 bucks.
I'll feed you vitamin c from my mouth this weekend. Like a baby bird.
Promise??
I am too high to deal with coming home to 11 naked people in my living room
I'm not finished with being a sloppy white girl alcoholic. I didn't postpone having a husband and kids for sober weekends.
I stopped telling people I'm a pansexual unless they ask first, really tired of explaining what that means.
Let me call you later. I’m lining up some office dick now that working at home is ending
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