I lined up everyone's pillows and I'm playing Evel Knievel when I jerk off later.
Anyone ask you how much a bj cost yet? That shirt is so whorish
Apparently I signed "I love you" on my bar tab last night.
we were in your room and your mom was singing twinkle twinkle little star in the hallway. so you decided to scream "twinkle? TWINKLE! What Fucking little star?!"
all her text said was "asdfhdaufhudshfuds" and i knew that meant come over
my dad's beating me at drinking again. No matter what i do I can't win.
Totally using formspring as an incognito way of making sure that girl from last night wasn't jailbait.
Posh spice and Baby spice both in one night. Fantasy complete. God bless halloween.
i made sure not to drool on your bed by putting my hoodie on backwards and swaddling my face in the hood
She looks like a beluga.
I want to splash her with water and when she screams say "I didn't want you to die. You looked parched"
Well you fished my watch out of a possibly vomit filled toilet so I think we're bros now.
On the shuttle bus from the Casino the driver refused to take us to the strip club so you said "let me off this bus or ill puke on you".
what do we think the timeline is for when your liver will begin to revolt against your drinking habits?
I totally just pulled my thong out of my purse at the grocery store. Oops.
I was watchin a porno and I sware I saw that dude at the bar at applebees the other night
Randomize
