im holly from the hills drunk
you were mad bc i took longer then 2 minutes to finish
Working on an important paper into the wee hours of the morning, and every time I type the word "situation," I can't help but think of effing Jersey Shore. Those guidos are now ruining my academic life.
His room was full of guns. It was like having sex with Clint Eastwood.
i signed up to donate 10 dollars a month to help the children that are being displaced in columbia because of the drug wars.. i felt obligated
I smell like Captain Morgan and tears
You just handed me your ATM card and wrote your PIN number on a dollar bill and said "for bail money."
How many times do I have to drunk reject you for our friendship to become awkward? Cause were at 9 as of last night
I shouldn't trust a guy I just met with the pull out method. That's a big responsibility.
Do you think they make a "sorry in my drunken debauchery I dropped a pumpkin off the balcony and you happened to be standing right there/get well soon" card?
But hes like a baby bird with a broken wing that i want to FUCK.
Is that a polar bear? You seriously grinded with a polar bear at the club?
I'm sorry but the visual image of you suffocating on vagina is basically hysterical
Like I'm literally drinking whiskey and making a stocking for my cat right now. What. Goes. On.
I shaved my entire vagina for a man who had the personality of a potato and a C- orgasm. Life is a series of disappointments.
Randomize
