my vagina has a 5:00 shadow
I meant the "stage" gay, Not the "bend me over and call me Gary" gay.
I hope you fall in a pool of honey in an immensely populated region of bears.
woke up in Sigma Chi. In his room. they are iniating pledges right now. Holy fucking shit mother of pearl.
Go for the frenulum. Its like eating a popsicle. They go nuts with that shit.
you finished all 5 burgers, started crying tears of joy, and then claimed the tears were actually just 'meat sweats' from your eyes
She's lying on the sidewalk wailing that she is gonna die alone, with hundreds of strangers watching us, and also we lost Kate, . Please help me
Ya, because touching his brother's face for 20 minutes in front of him wasn't bad enough, I also threw up in his garden and stole like 10 of his shirts before I left. But I fed his dog, so it's okay.
Hypothetical question: how bad would bacardi be as an IV drip?
death...100% death...what r u planning.
What if I told you that I had 160 ounces of cheap malt liquor in my backpack? Espn films 40 for 40s presents: Edward 40 hands. Our room. 11PM/10 central
Hung over and there is no way in the world I can make this mess look good today. Only solution is to stay drunk.
I think we need to stage an Intervention. Her Instagram is a call for help.
My pubic hair is shaved into the shape of mistletoe.
I hope that's a joke and if not I need a snap of it
My new plan is to whip out my titties when they arrive. Maybe they won’t notice that I broke the couch fucking my boss...
the cuervo was good, but I started with jello shots. and when i threw up a whole jello shot came out.
Randomize
