Gayer than 8 guys blowing 9 guys
wow, that really makes you stop and think.
i feel like after you turn 30 you aren't supposed to black out anymore
I did that thing again where I get way too drunk and go gay. Then wake up in the morning and freak out at the person. Yet another bar I cannot go back to
Who's got a bloodstream full of margaritas by 2pm? Not you, that's for sure, because you've got one of those "real" jobs.
She fell out the car soaking wet and screaming "im wearing a fedora!" then tryed to seduce him on the front lawn in front of his middle aged neighbor
If I get over there and the april fools joke is that there's no HBO, I'm setting fire to the place.
I know you're on vacation but you should know I just walk of shamed through a hotel lobby while leaving a threesome on Friday the 13th. Fuck superstition, I win.
there isn't one for "I'll give you an I'm sorry blowjob" but that's also an option you have. in the meantime here is an emoticon of a caterpillar
At the start of the night I was all 'come at me universe' and three hours later I was ordering an extra large pizza in bed in the dress I had gone out in. Well played universe.
Are you feeling okay?
Right now, not a single thing feels even slightly okay. That hungover.
Nope I went the fuck home like an adult
watched my neighbor eat five yodels, mow his lawn, and then cry on his porch after the party... what did you give him?
He was cheering for me from the end of the bar as I sloppily ate a Ruben sandwich. It made me feel really special.
National tequila day this year falls on a Monday. I've never been more disappointed in my life.
I was told I was gorgeous and a whore by the drag queens. My night is complete.
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