is it wrong that I prefer my women with low self esteem and a smidgen of an eating disorder?
i bet even starving children in Africa take the crust off their poptarts
just went trash diving in my work clothes for weed. A&E's intervention here i come.
Superbowl + Mdma, hope we're on the same page.
my life is in even more shambles than last time, mcdonalds is closed
Nothing makes my dick softer than hot girls in rain boots.
I am drinking at a movie theater seeing a children's movie, 2nd time this week
Midnight run for medical supplies ended several hours later with a lapdance to the Braveheart soundtrack.
Burnt myself on soup.. consencus go back to hospl. they will lov me. twins in one nigh. still hve band on. fuck
Hooked up with a guy solely because he had a chameleon. Priorities.
He just walked up to me in the kitchen, pulled out his penis and stuck it in my sweatpants pocket.
It was probably cold. Sweatpants pockets are notoriously warm.
I told her I'd rather set my hair on fire than sleep with her again. In retrospect, that was probably too harsh. My eye is still swollen shut.
She pulled out a water gun filled with vodka and called it her weapon of choice tonight. She's fine.
So how do I tell him I've been sleeping with his wife too?
I've been on the cocaine and semen diet for the last 24 hours, lunch sounds great.
Randomize
