Dude i have a 6th sense for when bagel bites are ready.
if I hooked up with that creppy kkid in bio does that count as doing charity work during the holidays?
I should have known our good time had gone to shit when his ankle bracelet started flashing.
So I peed on what I thought was a wall while in nashville come to find out while running from the cop it was just a dark tinted window and the while bar witnessed me peeing
I miss you too. And it was nice meeting your brother while I was mounting you
I think that's why god made me a woman. Bc it's harder to slap people in the face with a vagina.
How much more is Amanda Bynes going to rip out our hearts?!?!?
We're over by the bouncy castles. I'm the one wearing a baby. Bring Twizzlers.
Dad got stoned the other day and bought us potty training seats for when we have children
And then the night went full on bisexual.
My inner 10 year old alcoholic is intrigued.
My feet surprised me
Im riding the bus with beer in one hand and chapagne in the other. I love weddings.
All I know is when I asked you how many fingers I was holding up, you said "Hippo"
I'm sorry I walked in on you guys, but all I heard from outside was her screaming "Dive, dive!". Sex was my last guess for what was going on in there.
Randomize
