you kept yelling 'bird cage' in between songs and finally the lead singer stopped to ask if you meant 'free bird' and you said 'fuck you, i'm not gay', needless to say you were kindly escorted out
dude your alot more fun to hang out around now that your addicted to coke...but seriously you need to stop
If he comes back to you and I'm left alone in lonelytown I'm totally going to poo on your car.
I got to stop making out with my boss at work. I think we should just get it overwith, be dissaponted and move on.
you kept saying 'can i put my penis on the grill?' and it was all i could do to stop you. you're welcome, though
She just left after she spent the past 2.5 hours fuckin the shit out of me. I'll put that in the logbook as a cross country
In the midst of you puking your guts out, you stopped, looked at the globe in front of you and whispered "America.."
Getting sick, pulled the filter off a camel crush and rolled it into my joint to clear my sinuses. If there were stoner awards, I'd receive one.
It's 4 am here and I just vomited myself awake....Not rising OR shining any time soon
he sneezed into my face mid-kiss
Bless his heart
You're never the same once you're dry humped on the frat house floor
I was "singing along to the Lego Movie" high. Everything was not awesome
Egg rolls and cum. Not my worst snack.
Why am I a human magnet for the worst dicks of the world?
LOOK AT HOW SMOOTH THIS BITCH IS
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