Joe is yelling at the trees again.
I wanna get FUCKED up and fail the piss test at my eval so they send me to detox and give me suboxone... Is that bad?
I'm at taco bell and they have a hiring sign asking "do you like to melt things?" clearly they only want the ambitious.
He looks like Ryan Reynolds from this angle
Since when is drunk an angle?
Being the only sober one.. I had to feed you guys doritos. You kept licking my fingers.
A worker across the alley is wearing your sombrero sans cat barf.
We need to tone down the drinking before our 7pm class. I don't remember receiving any of these handouts.
If I asked you to guess what I'm doing right now how many guesses would it take to get to really high eating an apple bumping techno
It's always awkward in the office the day after your boss sends you a dick pic.
Don't make emojis simulating eating me out
My backyard is filled with beer cans. You idiots turned our backyard into a redneck ball-pit
I was so high the sounds of a cricket drove me out of my home at 4am.... Boo that fucking cricket
Just used my eyelash curler to open a bottle of cider...
I just bought a bottle of lube for my car.
He's a freak. Not like "freak in the bed" freak but like "eats glue in the weekends" freak.
Randomize
