IM SAVING ALL MY LOVE FOR YOU
I don't want it.
craigslist faux pas number 857, just got head in a disability bus.
Yeah, I was googling pictures of sharks, and I accidentally typed "shart." Huge mistake.
thank you for introducing me to everyone on chat roulette as I was passed out.
note to self... there IS such a thing as having too many birthday shots...
this guy is so high, he just ate half of a frozen blueberry muffin and half of a frozen poppyseed muffin, then proceeded to make a "hybrid poppyberry muffin"
My drunk body wants to fuck you so bad, but my high mind is telling me it's too much work. I think I'm just gonna stay home and eat some Mac and cheese. Sorry.
I performed "get broken glass out of my shoulder" surgery last night... Drunk, with a what-a-burger straw.
bad night - i tried for naughty librarian but could only manage to pull off pissed off barrista.
Who says there aren't gentlemen anymore? My one night stand warmed up my car for me
I'm just gonna eat nachos and wine fruit forever.
IF I CANT STRIP TO SANTA BABY THEN WHY EVEN HAVE CHRISTMAS.
I know it's 10:30am but Finding Dory starts in an hour, and I have four points of molly. You down?
I couldn't be more proud to be a cougar. Just wondering how these twenty somethings learned how to fuck so well? Must be porn.
The work outs are working. Someone just said my body type was “Tits On A Stick”.
Randomize
