The elaphant ear plant popped a new leaf ! Wahoo !
holy crap !! There is a MIDGET FAMILY in one of my rooms today !
How much trouble would you get into if you were to stomp down the hallway while loudly saying 'Fe Fi Fo Fum...'
just cuze she's 16 doesn't mean it's illegal to add her on facebook
I just want you to know the floor between our rooms isnt sound proof "Captain Cock"
I just want dick. Yours just gets priority because it is glorious
they arrested me when i was peaking, i'm pretty sure they were specifically looking for me but i was too busy rolling around, loving the grass to notice the police car..
I just called the on campus pharmacy and asked the pharmacist to tell me how each one of my medications will react with "excess alcohol consumption". And I'm not even ashamed...I've reached a new low.
My therapist keeps stopping to ask what 'hooking up' means
ITS ORAL SEX CAROL
i just tried to use a string cheese as a light source
It's because of weed that I don't mind driving an hour to visit my family. And it's because of you that there's weed in my life. Thank you.
when I die covered in cocaine, hookers, and tequila at 73 years old just remember that I once had a tweet with that many retweets
not sure when or how we ended up at this wedding party but you need to be here they are handing out screwdrivers and Yamakas to everyone and it's a got damn open bar you need to be here now
NO. NONE OF THAT. SHAME ON YOU.
5 am booty call not ok. The fact I actually went over definitely not ok. My vag needs to learn some control.
Chasing shots with airborne.. Gonna get rid of my sickness and my soberness.
Randomize
