Hilbilly word of the day is cedar, example....I knowed she ain\'t got no panties on cuz I cedar cooter.
there needs to be a "man fax report". like car fax. type in the guys name and bday and up pops all the bad shit he's ever done.
we should wear snuggies to the strip club
its officail im naming my first born child brickbreaker
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I know I'm not the first to fuck in a park but i deserve props for doing it at 3pm. On a sunny day might I add.
i just remember doing it on a pile of clothes while i heard the muffled sound of his friend laughing. then i realized we were in a closet.
How was the party? Lets put it this way: "He wants her dick" was a factual sentence stated last night.
Would you like season tickets to my vagina?
Is it inappropriate to be Drs. Willy Fister and Jess Hewill as a couples costume for Halloween?
Oh we're gynecologists
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
mike is out of commission and cannot make breakfast. he's sitting with two frozen waffles on his face & smiling like an idiot.
I have put on lipstick and signed up for class. Nothing more shall be expected of me today.
I should not be able to sum up my life with a taco brand motto...
Met a beautiful Irishman two nights in a row. I may never come back.
Had a dick customer and the words "eat my ass" slipped out. He proceeded to lick his lips and say present it. I think it's time I quit.
The cat just brought me a bottle opener. I think she's my soulmate.
I'd ask how but then you'd tell me.
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