I'm pretty sure there is a country song about this exact situation
he used a semicolon in his bootycall text, of course he's not gonna go down on me.
Going to get tested monday. You're coming with. Bonding time, slut style.
well since you're still married, you will be paying for my abortion right?
So, do you know where my left shoe is? I mean, we were at a few places last night, and I called them. No luck for me.
you kept saying "no santa, im not having sex with you. it's not your holiday".
I am the master of subtle flirting. I seduced him by simulating a hand job with an epi-pen during training.
STOP LICKING HIS MUSTACHE
But I just had this pork pâté. It was dick grabbing.
Got a text that the fed tax return dropped into my account just before getting on the first leg of my flights the Vegas. Fate? Viva Las Vegas!
Sometimes you've gotta crawl to stay concious
I ended up sleeping on a park bench. Never using Tinder again.
He sent me off with a naked dance ending in a meat swing. I don't think I'll be seeing him again.
Even in drag you're still better looking than your sister.
Trust me, I’ve got a sixth sense about dicks that tells me if a guy knows how to fuck and it’s tingling. You need to prove me right!
I’m not going to bang him just to confirm your Dickth Sense
The Dickth Sense!!! I love it! It’ll be our first porno!
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