Totally saw a hot amputee. I think this is called character growth.
Its where this guy sticks a jar up his ass. Be prepared to be suspended between vomiting and cheering.
the boobs are fake... i feel like i just found out santa isn't real.
How do I tell if what I'm covered in is pee or cum?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
3 things I learned last night: 1.) I'm not as light as I used to be. 2.) Sex on the roof of a convertible is a really bad idea. 3.) The hospital now has super glue pens for sealing minor cuts instead of stitches!
I'm stoned entirely off resin. Licking my blankets. Merry Christmas. Jesus died for our sins. Yay Jesus. I love you.
Hey do you know who I showed my dick to at the bar last night?
I just ASL-ed someone for the first time since 2002.
As long as I don't spend the half the week passed out/fucked up on Klonopin and no one dies, this will be the best week I've had all semester.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Don't go to sleep yet I need your Mexican roots. Can you come make guacamole
On a scale of 0 to Thanksgiving, there is no amount of food that fights against tequila.
Did you smoke and go to the aquarium again?
No, not if I told them not to. they listen to me. I have a vagina.
I'm literally trying to cool beer down right now in my car by putting it on my floor and blasting cold air on it
Eh, it could have been worse. I may or may not have been wearing a jedi cloak while getting my dick sucked.
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