Just saw an old lady trip and stumble. Laughed. Kept Driving. I'm going to hell.
My social work teacher just told our class about her bicurios adventures in college
is she hot?
She is now
The walk of shame isn't so shameful when you do it in a stolen, autographed Favre jersey.
we're all still whores. we just have a theme song now.
She finally woke up and said, "Me- nothing, potato peeler- 1." And rolled back over.
She just kept screaming you name over and over. Im starting to think this is my alarm clock
I have too much pride to pick his chest hair out of my mouth again
girl I've been sleeping with this summer as per her request just gave me a carton of cigs to thank me for my "hospitality". this is good.
She texted me shhh....im drunk, secret booty call...how could i say no?
If you are drunk already, then as your friend I am advising you to stop writing on your dads Facebook wall
So I thought the party was crazy before his pinky came off...
Okay I take that back some girl just said pussy sweat. Get me outta here
I feel like my sexual preferences are just another sign that I am a 75 year old drag queen in a 29 year old woman's body.
Just let me suck your dick and be happy. Let me have this.
Pro: 2020 made it easier to hook up with strippers
Con: explaining to Kari why there’s always strippers at our house
Pro: there’s always strippers at our house
Randomize
