Well he's not a stripper, so we're already doing better than my last date.
i just sat down and hooked up with this girl. after she left i called over another girl and did the same. this happened about four more times and i never left my chair
thanks. im glad you find me better in your comparison between me and fat girl porn.
Who wrote Most Moistest Dad on my chest and what the fuck does it mean?!?
I went out as a member of the house of Gryfindor and came home as Snooki
Have you ever stopped and thought "I do NOT want to be inside of this person right now. Or ever." Because you should.
You're cock blocking me from my own boyfriend. What kind of shit is that?
Dear Jesus. Send me strength to not suck cock this morning.
Btw I have come to the conclusion that we really need to do it in a bed. Like at least once..
OH MY GOD did i pee on you?!
One three hour marathon fuck session and now she's divorcing her husband. Should I get business cards made?
Awake! can you bring me my pants...im under the couch
1. Everyone on the 1st and 3rd floor heard you. 2. The 3rd floor vibrates when we have sex. 3. The 1st floor can hear the bed squeak.
Heard flapping noises behind me. It was my roommate flapping her bathrobe like wings, saying "I'm a faaaiiiiry."
okay i know we havent talked for like weeks but i just really wanted to tell you that i miss your dick. like alot.
whose this? and thank you
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