oh god the rape fog is back!
Can I ask u a weird question?
Sure
do u have the hershy squirts too?
She just texted me saying, "I wish you were a better person so I could fuck you without regrets"
After work we went home to fool around. Turns out he had sawdust under his foreskin. I'm never going down on him again.
miscarriage! now THATS a gift from god.
I have to fuck proof my bed. It was in the middle of the room this time.
We've started doing pot butter shots. WHY AREN'T U HERE
I have too much pride to pick his chest hair out of my mouth again
We were all drunk for the whole flight. Steve doesn't even remember the cab ride to the airport. At 6am. Says he "blacked back in" at security.
my life is about to be the like the hunger games except with penises. and im going to win.
I told him his only options were from behind or me on top. I was not about to mess up my $80 blow out before graduation.
Also, my aunt grabbed my phone and downloaded the scriptures. Apparently I need Jesus.
I figured you were on something. You're way too happy right now to be sober
Harry Potter pub crawl tonight. You know you're living your life right when your check list for the evening is wizard robes, wand and acid.
You call it sex. I call it penis conditioning.
Randomize
