I think tequila should come with a little jiminy cricket
Proposition. Sex. No words, no talking about it later. I just want you tonight.
do you think i can make that microwavable cake stuff with vodka instead of water?
you should probably use water
i dont have any
all you kept yelling was "i'm bored and i'm sober"
her moans were so awkward that i kept asking "what" when she'd say my name...
Why do I feel like I'm not the only one drinking to make my night class teacher look better?
He let me keep his flannel as a "good job" for the great head I gave him.
whiskey dick. though we did manage to break my closet door and flood the bathroom.
It's like even though I'm not in college anymore my body still knows it's September and is putting itself into competitive binge drinking mode.
Why is Kyle using one of my nieces as a blunt object to provoke and attack my other niece?
Great. Now I'm always going to be the roommate that boned a guy with a third nipple.
I think we need to have a day of drinking in classes. I know we don't share any, but sacrifices need to be made.
Christopher Columbus didn't sail the ocean blue so I would have to go to class and not have sex with my boyfriend
nothing says "fuck you jocks from high school my life is better than yours" like bringing 5 grand in 20s to the bar
Sorry it's taking so long, it's harder to take an ass pic with an iPad than you think
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