You are not answering and I think it is because you spent 80 dollars worth of drinks on you hot cousin.
I just saw what sperm look like swimming around. I'm not happy with what you've put in my stomach.
this ugly chick literally cried last night because i wouldnt let her give me head
Medicore although I woke up with the business card of a Turkish lawyer called Mufasa...
I've see this movie. You sext me after the bar and fall asleep mid sentence. Roll credits.
A guy wearing a hard hat while floating the river. It's the most responsible drinking we saw all day.
I tried to show my boob for free volcano tacos at taco bell last night. Not boobs. Just boob. The manager wasn't allowing it.
You missed lesbians having sex in the bathroom and the whole bar clapping for them. I had to do recon. It was amazing
Two words that describe last night: naked and backflips.
I am currently in a U-Haul truck right now. Going to a party. I hate myself.
THE HALLOWEEN QUEST WILL BE PICS OF US IN OUR COSTUMES IN EXCHANGE FOR DICK PICS. IT HAS BEEN DECIDED.
I feel like I missed the land of milk and honey and instead wound up in the land of beer and pizza. And yet, I think I'm happier here.
WHY DID YOU DRUNK DIAL MY MOM?!
Because mine was sitting on the bar stool next to me...
I'm so upset I left my sombrero at the expo center
How dare you not respond to me after opening up a picture of my bare breasts
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